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Debra Johnstone, Mindfulness
3 Signs That Show Us We Need To Heal
Midlife Musings: Debra Johnstone
This month I’ve reached the age of 60 and part of me can’t believe I’m here. The other part however, knows exactly how I arrived.
I have to say I’m actually excited to have reached this empowering stage of life. Referred to as our wise years, our sacred rite of passage. And I know personally, like most of us do when we get to this time, it hasn’t come easy.
“Not all women reach this age and I feel incredibly blessed.”
Leading up to my birthday, I frequently found myself looking back through my life at all the trials and tribulations. I also often reflected on the losses and the good times. To be honest it wasn’t without emotion either. There have been tears, sadness and anger.
Don’t get me wrong; I feel empowered at the thought of turning 60. I consider it an honour. Not all women reach this age and I feel incredibly blessed. My own dear mum only reached 51, so I feel extra grateful to be here. But, I also know enough about the human condition to realize that spontaneous reflection and emotion is a sign of a need for healing. And in the time close to my birthday I realized that this is a good thing.
Entering Our Wise Woman Rite Of Passage:
“I believe we need to heal anything that is still lurking in the shadows to prepare.”
It’s important to heal when we reach our wise woman rite of passage. The passage to Wise Woman is a powerful transition. It’s when we step even more deeply into who we really are – the leaders we are meant to be for our young people and our grand children. This requires wisdom and discernment. It is a deeper responsibility.
If we bring with us all that has troubled us in the past it can hold us back. Our triggers and limited thinking can obstruct us from reaching into our wisdom and living from our truth. When we heal past traumas we lean more fully into who we are meant to be now. This allows us to embrace the important role that is part of our purpose to fulfill.
This next decade and the years after can be the best of our life. But I believe we need to heal anything that is still lurking in the shadows to prepare. That’s not to say that we must heal the past on our 60th birthday. But it’s important to look for the signs that healing needs to take place.
3 Signs Showing Us We Need To Heal:
Personally I’ve noticed a few signs that lingering issues need to be resolved.
“What’s important here is that we don’t just try to push it down and pretend everything is okay.”
1. Being Triggered More Frequently.
Being triggered frequently is a definite sign that there’s something afoot. The thing is it’s what is sitting behind the situation, not the situation itself, that triggers us. Finding the true cause of the reaction is essential to healing.
2. More Time Being Upset.
Getting upset seemingly for no real reason is another sign. Maybe you’re watching a movie and it reminds you of something from your past. This is another sign that healing past sadness or trauma would help.
3. Spending Too Much Time In The Past.
Thinking or talking a lot about the past and the not so great things that happened is another sign. Most especially if it brings up unresolved emotions.
What’s important here is that we don’t just try to push it down and pretend everything is okay. It’s vital to resolve whatever we’ve been holding onto. Maybe it’s time to work with a healer, therapist, or life coach who knows how to guide you. It takes courage to face, but it’s worth it and the sense of relief afterwards is palpable.
I have to say I am looking forward to this next decade and the years after. Reaching 60 is a privilege denied to many women and I’m going to make my wisdom years count.
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About the Author:
Deb Johnstone is a Transformational Mindset Coach and a Midlife Transition Mentor. Experiencing midlife transition herself, she wanted work with more meaning and started her coaching practice in 2012. After the death of her father in 2019 and processing her grief, Deb experienced a deep loss of self where her identity felt challenged. It was through this that she felt the calling to work with women in this phase of life. It is now her mission to support women to transition midlife and beyond feeling confident, empowered and free to be your true self and live the life you want and deserve. You can connect with Deb on Facebook through The Empowered MidLife Woman where she posts insights daily, or connect with her through her website.
Great read. I feel that I am slowly coming to recognise the person I am. I am familiar with your signs and when they come up I now listen and evaluate them instead of pushing them down or hiding behind alcohol as a way of not facing them. You Deb, together with some other amazing people, have helped me find that courage. I have a long way to go but I feel the privilege that you talk about. I am 57 and lucky to be here and look forward to my coming years and the knowledge I know I will learn and which I will share with my family and friends, even if they don’t really want to hear it.
Helen, thanks for your transparency and vulnerability. So glad to hear Deb has been such a wonderful resource for you. It’s a good place to be… looking forward to coming years. Hope you find our content meaningful and helpful.