3 Steps To Understand Your Relationship Blueprint

Sexuality Thought Leader: Beth Keil 

Women, through the years, have spoken about their intimate relationships, especially at the beginning.

They spoke of the passion, sex, and excitement they experienced. Then, life happened, and it changed. What they had felt was now replaced by longing and missing for what had been. Many believed this was normal. After all, how long can passion really exist? How can you expect to have it when you’re older?

It’s a sexual dumbing down. This culture gives us the message that the waning of passion and erotic expression is normal, even to be expected. You see it in the movies where the bias is only younger people are sexual, desirable, and attractive. When they make love, it’s likely to have nudity, which can be very hot. Older couples, if they make love, it’s usually comedic. Nudity? Rarely. Hot? Think again!

Women, in particular, get messages that as they get older, they can’t be (or shouldn’t be!) juicy, sensual, and wild in their abandonment! They’re not seen as sexual or erotic, especially to themselves. 

Foundation Of Your Relationship Blueprint:

What did you see growing up when it came to sex, intimacy, and passion?

“Because you were a child, your blueprints are subconscious.”

Your earliest teachers were your family. Your family’s earliest teachers were their family. What you (and they) experienced, laid the foundation of your relationship blueprint. It informs your worldview, expectations, and behaviors. 

This includes your erotic sexual identity and expression, receiving and giving pleasure, and being sexual throughout your life.

What you don’t know you don’t know.

Because you were a child, your blueprints are subconscious. It’s like wearing a pair of glasses starting at a very young age. Wear them long enough, and soon you don’t see them, or how they impact your vision!

Subconscious Expectations:

As a child, you couldn’t recognize the huge influence the culture had on everyone. Just think of the messages your parents and grandparents grew up with. Imagine what they learned regarding relationships between women and men, sex and sexual expression, and committed relationships such as marriage.  

These expectations were subconsciously passed onto you!

You live the impact of these subconscious expectations. For better or worse, the relationship models you grew up with, show up in your adult ones. They create dynamics (patterns) that hinder your relationships even now. Fear is one way these dynamics show up – such as the fear of being vulnerable, not good enough, or abandoned. 

These relationship models lead many of us to be totally unaware that romantic relationships flourish when they are an ongoing celebration of love, intimacy, and passion. It’s another form of sexual dumbing down! Being aware is the first step to any change.

“This is about you being honest with yourself, about what you need, want, and desire!”

3 Steps To Understand Your Relationship Blueprint:

There are steps you can take to bring awareness to what you subconsciously carry. With such awareness, you’ll be able to notice the thoughts and patterns that are in the way of creating passion and more intimacy in your romantic relationship, now or in the future. 

Here are a series of steps you start to take now!

1. Explore What You Want In Your Ideal Romantic Intimate Relationship:

What you want is a critical place to start. It doesn’t matter if you’re currently in a relationship or not. This is about you being honest with yourself, about what you need, want, and desire! Begin by asking yourself, what is my ideal romantic relationship? An ideal is not an expectation, but a way to create infinite possibility!

Be as specific as you can, even if it starts with what you don’t want. Sometimes, people are more aware of what they don’t want, which leads them to what’s important. Write everything you want! Set aside judgments, including, what you want isn’t realistic or possible. Use a beautiful journal to write in, one that inspires you. Give yourself space to update what you write, as updating and refining are part of the process.

Understand The Relationship Blueprint:

2. Use the power of your list:

Read one ideal at a time, and write your answers to these questions: 

• Is this ideal something new for you?
• If so, what happened that led to it?
• Think back to when you were younger and ask if there was someone or some situation that made you think this ideal was somehow wrong or bad to want.

“Just imagine the changes you can make!”

Answering these questions helps you understand the relationship blueprint you’ve been carrying, especially subconsciously. It can point to areas you’ve been dumbed down by and claim what you need, want, and desire now.

3. Tap Into The Subconscious Mind:

Did you know there are certain types of hypnotherapy that focus on subconscious beliefs, dynamics, and patterns? Over the past 21 years, the people I’ve worked with have experienced change and transformation in long-held beliefs and dynamics, especially in their relationship blueprint. Hypnosis, along with other modalities, can help you with your relationship blueprint (and more). Just imagine the changes you can make!

Here’s to Your Aphrodite Rising!

Additional resources can be found in the Author’s bio below.

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