4 Tips For Women Over 50 – Stop The Negative Internal Dialogue

Fashion Fridays, Kuel Life Thought Leader: Tracy Gold

There’s a dress style that you would love to try. But before you even put it on, the internal dialogue goes crazy, saying things like ‘You’re way too fat for that’; ‘You’re way too old for this’. Sound familiar?

I realized very quickly when I started my business 20 years ago, that we have this internal dialogue that determines what we think we can and cannot wear. And guess what, girlfriend? They’re not always true. They’re often not true. And just because you are a woman over 50 it doesn’t mean any of the negative chatter is true. I am here to tell you – you can stop the negative internal dialogue.

“While it is good to be  a positive thinker, I also know that we need to be real with ourselves.”

4 Tips For Women Over 50 – Stop The Negative Internal Dialogue:

1. Acknowledge The Voices:

We live in a “think positive” society. While it is good to be a positive thinker, I also know that we need to be real with ourselves. If there is a negative internal dialogue that comes, just acknowledge it. Say, ‘Okay, this is what’s coming up for me. I’m feeling like I’m too fat, too old, to wear that’. Recognizing the voices is the first step.

2. Name The Voice:

Mine is called Gertrude. This helps me have a sense of humor about it and speak to the voices as they arrive.

3. Recoginze When The Internal Negative Dialogue Comes:

Start recognizing the times when your ‘Gertrude’ pops up. For example, I notice mine comes when I’m feeling tired, stretched, and sometimes when I’m coming down from a high of being on television. For you it could be when you go shopping. It could be when you’re on social media and you’re comparing yourself to other people who seem like they have the best possible lives and bodies. 

3. Identify The Truth And The Lies:

What are the lies that your inner voices are telling you? It can be hard to see these clearly. I had a client who was really struggling with a very dominant, opinionated mother. She had her mother’s criticisms in her head all the time! When discussing what colors look really good on her, I suggested shades of green, but she was adamant that she couldn’t wear green because when she was younger, her mother told her she couldn’t wear green. It didn’t matter that she had dyed her hair reddish brown and green looked amazing on her. She stuck to this ‘truth’. Many of us have these lies we believe about ourselves, so we need to reassess and decide what beliefs we want to hold as true.

“When a lie comes up, acknowledge that it’s a lie and declare the truth to yourself.”

4. Replace The Lie With The Truth:

It’s naive to think that you can just change long formed beliefs in an instant. But you can over time replace them with the truth. When a lie comes up, acknowledge that it’s a lie and declare the truth to yourself. For example, if you find yourself thinking ‘this dress makes my tummy look too big’, but it’s just because you are so conscious of your tummy and it really does suit you, you can replace the lie with ‘this dress really suits my shape and curves’. Even if you don’t feel it yet, it’s training your brain to think differently.

The clothing you choose to wear says something about how you want to show up in your world. What do you want to say about yourself today? Let’s stamp out that negative internal dialogue.

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