Midlife Matters Thought Leader: Julie DeLucca-Collins
“Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in the face.” – Helen Keller
Have you experienced feeling like you are just not enough? That others are better than you, and everyone around you is confident enough? That they are sure of themselves? Chances are, other people also have those thoughts just like you. But how did they find freedom in how to become confident?
Confidence is not about something you possess but about something you create. Confidence comes from within, finding ways to believe in yourself in every situation, and in everything you do.
So, Is It Possible To Build Self-Confidence?
The answer is yes!
I believe that the most common desire we have as individuals is to feel more confident in every area of our lives. But how?
MAKE A MOVE. DO IT NOW.
As Thomas Carlyle said, “Nothing builds self-esteem and self-confidence like accomplishment.”
The most crucial step in boosting self-confidence is taking the necessary steps towards a goal by working on it and accomplishing it with excellence. Just sitting and thinking about it will only worsen the situation. Make a move, though, it is not always easy to do.
Stop thinking about it and go and take action towards building your confidence.
FACE YOUR FEAR
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
For me, experiences where I can face my fears, help me build my confidence in many areas of life. There isn’t a way to avoid it! So, as you face what scares you the most, the essential thing you need to do is to prepare and realize that failure or being wrong will not kill you. Again, it would be best if you faced your fear.
By facing your fear, you will discover the thing that people throughout history had found before you existed. The more we face a difficult task, the more we can learn to grow, gain skills, and become more confident.
“Whatever you hold in your mind on a consistent basis is exactly what you will experience in your life.” – Tony Robbins
What does confidence tell you? You may think it results from your prior success, but it is far more than that. Being confident means that even if you did your best and failed and fell, you can still pick yourself back up and try again. Once you take the necessary steps to achieve your goal, you will begin to adopt a growth mindset and develop confidence.
ALTER YOUR INNER DIALOGUE
Stop nagging at yourself and use positive words when creating inner dialogue. This positive dialogue or self-talk is called affirmations. Affirmations are powerful ways to improve your internal dialogue and make new beliefs. Positive statements can help you overcome the inner critic or judge that generates negative thoughts.
“Ultimately, it will help you create the life you want and feel satisfied with living.”
It is okay not to be confident at all times, but I encourage you to work at building this skill. Ultimately, it will help you create the life you want and feel satisfied with living. To create your confidence, you must love and be kind to yourself. When you know your identity and your value, you will have the belief that no matter what happens, the confidence you have comes from the inside.
Creating new dialogue is not something that happens overnight. It is a skill that is not built overnight.
I invite you to start by noticing when you speak to yourself using your inner critic or judge. This itty bitty, shitty committee, as I like to call it, is running dialogues in our subconscious. We have learned not to notice when it is speaking to us. Becoming aware of when it is happening and celebrating that we caught it is the first step in changing the unhelpful dialogue and creating a new one.
BE WITH PEOPLE THAT BUILD YOUR CONFIDENCE
Lastly, to build your confidence, you must be with a community that builds you up. The right kind of people that you choose to surround yourself with will help you guide, shape your mindset, and inspire you to achieve your goals. Selecting the right people will help you excel and do more extraordinary things in life.
About the Author:
Julie DeLucca-Collins is the Founder and CEO of Go Confidently Services and the host of the popular Casa DeConfidence Podcast®. As a Business and Life Strategist Coach, Julie helps women business owners launch or grow their businesses, get clients, be productive, and achieve their dreams. Julie helps her clients create simple habits to achieve goals and change lives. Julie is also the best-selling author of the newly released book Confident You (simple habits to live the life you’ve imagined). She is certified as a CBT and Holistic Coach. This past summer, she was honored to complete her certification as a Tiny Habits Coach under Dr. BJ Fogg the founder of the Behavioral Lab at Stamford University and the author of the book Tiny Habits.