Parent Coach for Moms of Teens: Fern Weis
The road to hell is definitely paved with good intentions and this is too true in parenting.
Parents may unintentionally cripple their child’s growth.
Parents who overdo it in fixing, rescuing, and overindulging can create a child who is helpless, lacks confidence, and is unmotivated. That child begins to believe that they are incapable of doing for themselves, by themselves. I know you don’t want that for them.
Tough love isn’t only about the child. It’s tough for parents, too. Stepping back and letting go takes time, practice, and nerves of steel. Here’s what you need to know about the dangers of what is now called overparenting:
5 Ways We Can Stunt Our Child’s Growth:
“Tough love isn’t only about the child. It’s tough for parents, too.”
- When your child makes a mistake and you criticize or judge, you belittle. When you find the learning opportunity, you empower.
- When you give her more than she needs, she will take things for granted. Give her what she needs and have her work towards what she wants, and she will learn commitment, responsibility, appreciation, and gratitude.
- If you ask your child for help and your perfectionism says, ‘not good enough,’ you diminish. When you are frazzled and doing it yourself, you diminish. Accept help and praise the effort, and you empower your child.
- When you are the benevolent or terrified micromanager, your child hears the message that he is helpless and should be scared of life. Encourage him to take a chance and risk failure, and he learns that he is capable and resilient.
- Do you give in or give up because you can’t take the whining anymore? This contributes to self-centered, manipulative, even helpless behavior. Stand your ground and set limits. Your child will learn to manage frustration and cope with disappointment. One day they’ll probably thank you for it.
You are not powerless to be a positive influence. Every day, in every moment, you have the power and opportunity to move them a step closer to confidence and independence, and higher self-esteem. Will you take it?
Please Note: Additional resources can be found in Author’s Bio below.
About the Author:
Fern Weis is a Parent Empowerment Coach for Moms of Teens and a Family Recovery Coach. She’s also a wife, former middle school teacher, and the parent of two adult children who taught her more about herself than she ever could have imagined.
Fern partners with moms of teens and young adults, privately and in groups. She helps them grow their confidence to build strong relationships and emotionally healthier kids who become successful adults. She knows first-hand that when parents do the work, the possibilities for change are limitless; that it’s never too late to start; and you don’t have to do it alone. Learn more about Fern at www.fernweis.com.
If you’re ready to stop collecting parenting information and move to action and implementation, the Moms’ Circle is your next best step. For information on this small group coaching program, contact Fern.