Kim Muench, Becoming Me Thought Leader
A real client’s request: “Help! My daughter was living her best life across the country, she had a great job and an apartment, things were going so well! Until the breakup.”
“Three months ago, her boyfriend of two years broke up with her and she’s fallen apart. Apart, to a point of losing her job and coming home. I’ve been empathetic and trying to help in any way I can, but she’s not getting any better, what should I do?”
“As a parent, witnessing your child go through this can be equally distressing.”
Your Adult Child Experiencing Heartbreak:
Experiencing heartbreak and the subsequent fallout can be an incredibly challenging time for anyone, especially for your daughter who had built a life for herself across the country. As a parent, witnessing your child go through this can be equally distressing. However, there are steps you can take to support her during this difficult period and help her find her footing again.
7 Ways To Support Your Daughter’s Breakup Recovery:
1. Validate Her Feelings:
It’s important to let your daughter know that her feelings of sadness, anger, and confusion are completely normal reactions to a breakup. Avoid dismissing her emotions or telling her to “just get over it.” Instead, provide a safe space for her to express herself without judgment.
2. Encourage Professional Help:
While your support is crucial, it’s also beneficial for your daughter to seek professional help if she’s struggling to cope. Consider suggesting therapy or counseling, where she can work through her emotions with a trained professional who can offer unbiased guidance and support. If the idea of that is overwhelming in terms of where to begin to find someone, it may be helpful for you to ask friends or a local networking group for a few recommendations and then provide your daughter with 2-3 website links to research.
3. Help Her Explore Her Option:
Losing a job and a relationship simultaneously can feel overwhelming, leaving your daughter unsure of her next steps. Sit down with her and brainstorm potential career opportunities or educational paths she might be interested in pursuing. Encourage her to take small steps towards rebuilding her life, even if they seem daunting at first. What’s the first small step she can take to begin?
4. Foster A Supportive Environment:
Create an environment at home that fosters positivity and encourages personal growth. Encourage your daughter to engage in activities she enjoys, spend time with loved ones, and prioritize self-care. Remind her that setbacks are a natural part of life, and reassure her that she has your unwavering support. This goes far in helping her through her breakup recovery.
“Encourage your daughter to engage in activities she enjoys, spend time with loved ones, and prioritize self-care.”
5. Lead By Example:
Show your daughter the importance of resilience and perseverance by leading by example. Share your own experiences of overcoming challenges and how you navigated through difficult times. Let her know that setbacks are temporary and that she has the strength within her to bounce back stronger than before. Let her know you believe in her. Sometimes even our adult children need to hear from us that we believe in them, especially if at the moment she doesn’t have faith in herself.
6. Be Patient With Her Breakup Recovery:
Although it’s been three months, recovery from heartbreak and career setbacks takes time, and it’s essential to be patient with your daughter as she navigates this journey. Avoid putting pressure on her to “get back to normal” quickly and instead focus on providing consistent love and support.
7. Keep Lines Of Communication Open:
Encourage open and honest communication with your daughter, where she feels comfortable expressing her thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. Let her know that you’re always there to listen and offer support through her breakup recovery – whenever she needs it. However, you want to be mindful of taking on things that she can and should be doing for herself (for example, her laundry).
Healing is a gradual process, and there’s no set timeline for recovery. By offering your unconditional love and support, you can help your daughter navigate through this challenging time and emerge stronger and more resilient than ever before.
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About the Author:
Kim Muench (pronounced minch, like pinch with an “m”) is a Jai (rhymes with buy) Institute for Parenting Certified Conscious Parenting Coach who specializes in working with mothers of adolescents (ages 10+). Knowing moms are the emotional barometer in their families, Kim is passionate about educating, supporting and encouraging her clients to raise their children with intention and guidance rather than fear and control. Kim’s three plus decades parenting five children and years of coaching other parents empowers her to lead her clients into healthier, happier, more functional relationships with compassion and without judgment.
You can find out more about her mission and services at www.reallifeparentguide.com. She is on Facebook at Real Life Parent Guide, Instagram, and on LinkedIn as well.
