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  Be Sensibly Selfish

Kay Newton September 2020

Connection Kuel Category Expert: Kay Newton

As a woman, you have the power to give birth to a life that meets all your needs. Your deep inner wisdom is a wellspring of desire that can transform your life into the glorious adventure it was meant to be. This wisdom never dies.

We spend our lives trying to make other people happy by putting our pleasure on hold.”

Unfortunately, it can be forgotten. In our hectic lives: working, wife-ing, child-rearing, pet-tending, etc. of ‘doing’ instead of ‘being’, we have become accustomed to pushing, fighting and driving our way through life. Women have lost their understanding and connection to the magnetic force that allows them to be the centre of their universe. We spend our lives trying to make other people happy by putting our pleasure on hold. It is like putting the cart before the horse.

The Solution:

Be “Sensibly Selfish”. It is time for women to redefine and embrace Selfishness – the ability to make everyone happy by getting what you want. 

Author, filmmaker and spiritual teacher, Kenneth McLean, says it this way: “True Selfish-ness always leads to joy, because it is always motivated by the desire to feel as good as possible. It is only when we are Self-ish enough to be, do and act per our desires (not someone else’s) that it is possible to stay balanced.” 

Energetically speaking, a desire is a rush of life force energy, a connection to the divine inner self, which can never result in harmful actions.

Seek Pleasure:

For women, following desires that lead to pleasure, ultimately will save your relationships, feed your children, earn you more money and save the world. Women are vessels, designed to pour out unconditional love and acceptance. When we continuously fill ourselves with enjoyment, we provide nourishment for everyone in our life. The moment we stop actively filling our mind, body and soul with what makes us happy then resentment and anger fill the void. This negativity is what we offer to our friends and family. 

It is your responsibility as a midlife woman to discover what makes you happy. To re-connect to the innate power you possess as a woman, you must re-charge or re-ignite your feminine battery. Down through the ages, tried, and tested methods for building ‘Feminine Fire’ have existed. Fire may destroy yet we can see examples in nature where it replenishes and creates new growth. 

As your fire builds inside, tune in to how you feel and release any emotions you no longer need, such as blame, guilt and fear. In turn, your language and communication will flow smoother, and life will automatically become more positive, helping you focus further. You will need no excuses as you follow an innate instinct, a sexual, passionate inferno. 

Connect To Your Inner Light:

Sensibly Selfish is to light other peoples candles after first lighting yours.”

As you become more Sensibly Selfish, you automatically connect to your inner light. Think of Emmental cheese full of holes; as you fill ‘your cheese’ with light, it will shine out into the world from your ‘holy’ holes. Remember that when you light a candle, the flame does not dim; instead, you expand and create more light. Sensibly Selfish is to light other peoples candles after first lighting yours. 

As you shine your light as brightly as you can, you will find yourself connecting to further creative projects that keep your internal light ignited. Trust your inner resources and stay firm to your convictions. Being strong does not mean that you have to attack others or be competitive, comparing or feeling superior. Sensibly Selfish means to be enterprising! 

Shining strong also means to be compassionate to yourself, be gentle with emotions, detach from your belief system, as both can change in an instant. As you become confident within yourself, your inner authority glows, and you will not need to rely on anyone else. Confidence will also change the vibrational energy of any negativity you encounter in others. 

We Are Responsible For Our Own Happiness:

When you choose to change your quality of life, the quality of your life will change.”

Are you struggling to be Sensibly Selfish? Ask yourself; what resonates with me? What uplifts me? Liberates me? What old patterns need changing right now? What is my truth? Use your intuition, listen to your heart and become the leader in your own life. Ultimately, you must find what works for you. You are responsible for your happiness. When you choose to change your quality of life, the quality of your life will change. Listen to the voice deep inside of you the one that knows what it needs. Then trust it and follow where it leads.

Connect to getting Sensibly Selfish, take back your heart, open yourself to new possibilities and keep continually learning how to be more you. Your happiness will determine the future of the world! Whether you use external methods of a sacred ritual, journaling, taking time out or turning to a mentor or coach, it is essential to listen to what resonates inside of you. Be Sensibly Selfish! 

I would love to know how you get on. Why not share your own experiences with me or reach out if you wish to talk about being Sensibly Selfish.

About the Author:

Kay is the founder of Midlife Strategies, an award-winning International Speaker, and enthusiastic author. She is an acknowledged expert guiding women to find their mojo, through the Midlife Squeeze.

Kay’s books include: 

Today, Kay lives a simple life next to a beach in Mallorca, Spain. You can find Kay here: www.KayNewton.com.