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Being Brave Enough To Admit I’m Stuck

Kim Friedman Landau Feb 2020

Lifestyle Kuel Life Contributor: Kim Friedman Landau

I am stuck.

Four half written blogs on my computer, five more being written in my head all day (especially in the shower!) and I have not been able to get into my flow.

I promised Jack, and hence all of you Kuel women, my monthly musings on life for February and I hate to disappoint. When I make a commitment, I keep it and I treasure the honor of being a part of the Kuel Life community in this way.

I love to write. I love how when the right concept comes to me, it pulls me in and the keyboard and screen become my world for a little while.

I love the art of arranging words in such a way that they paint pictures of my experiences and feelings that make you smile or tear up and maybe make you nod with understanding. But writing is a creative process, and as such, has its own rhythms to follow. I can usually take its lead, provide it with the right environment and it will respond to my patient encouragement and guidance. But like a two-year-old or teenager, I can only take it so far. My writing is a part of me and comes from me but is almost a separate being. She and I form a partnership together and when my writing partner is trying to tell me she needs a break, I need to listen to her.

That can be a hard voice to hear and taking that break isn’t easy for me. It means feeling a bit like a failure and letting down Jack and some of you. It means giving up and giving in.

But it is also respecting all parts of me and granting all those parts permission to take that break. Forgiving myself and knowing it is OK.

Letting go for the moment and channeling more of my energies to the rest of my life and endeavors. Trusting that my partner and our process will return next month refreshed and ready to go again.

– What do you need to listen to in your life?
– What is working and what isn’t, despite your best efforts?
– What part of you is stuck and maybe needs a break?
– What voices are hard to hear and heed and how can you allow yourself to do that?
– How will you deal with the disappointment you feel in yourself and for others?
– How will you nourish and renew yourself and begin again when ready?

This is what the Kuel Life community is about. We come here to ask these, and so many other questions, and we help each other answer them. We cheer each other’s strengths and often new-found fierceness and accomplishments, and we are there for each other without judgement, catching each other as we are falling. A beautiful part of aging and being women in our second act is the wisdom we gain. Most of us are stronger than ever before, yet more willing to be less than perfect and stumble. We know and understand ourselves better; which allows us to love ourselves and others more fully and unconditionally.

Thank you all for this. Thank you for reading my monthly blogs, and sharing your own knowledge, experience and musings. Thank you for letting me fail and disappoint. Thank you for letting me practice self-care. See you next month, I promise! My blog for March is a fun one and is going to write itself! 😉

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About the author:

Kim Friedman Landau is a 63 year old retired medical social worker who lives in Boston.  She is an avid bicyclist, walker, crafter, cook, volunteer, partner, mother, sister, friend and now writer. After having cancer at age 51, Kim decided that life was a journey to be treated as an ongoing series of adventures. She is having a blast trying new things and exploring new ways to grow as a person. Blogging about what she is always learning is her latest joy.

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