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Can You Recover From An Ex’s Infidelity?

Beverly Price July 2023

Empowered Divorce Thought Leader: Beverly Price

You felt a punch to the gut, a betrayal that you never thought could happen. You wonder where everything went wrong. Was it anything you did or didn’t do?

Your Spouse’s Infidelity:

Recovering from the discovery of your spouse’s infidelity and going through a divorce can be an incredibly difficult and emotionally taxing experience. While everyone’s journey is unique, here are some general suggestions to help you navigate the process of recovery:

“It’s important to acknowledge your pain, anger, and sadness as you begin to heal.”

Allow yourself to process your emotions

As Esther Perel, a renowned relationship therapist, said, “Betrayal is the most profound source of hurt in human relationships.” Give yourself permission to feel and express the range of intense emotions that accompany such a discovery. It’s important to acknowledge your pain, anger, and sadness as you begin to heal.

Seek support from trusted individuals

As Helen Keller once said, “Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.” Reach out to close friends, family members, or a therapist who can provide a compassionate ear and emotional support. Sharing your feelings and experiences with those who care about you can help alleviate the burden and provide perspective and guidance during this challenging time.

Focus On Self-Care:

Take care of your well-being 

As Audrey Hepburn wisely stated, “The most important thing is to enjoy your life—to be happy—it’s all that matters.” Focus on self-care to nurture your physical, mental, and emotional health. Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you relax. Prioritize rest, exercise, healthy eating, and maintaining a balanced routine to support your overall well-being.

Seek professional help

As renowned psychologist Carl Rogers emphasized, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Seeking divorce coaching can be immensely beneficial in processing your emotions, gaining clarity, and developing coping strategies. A trained professional can guide you through the healing process, provide tools for managing the challenges, and support you as you move forward.

Set boundaries and prioritize yourself

As Brené Brown once said, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” Establish clear boundaries with your spouse to protect your well-being during and after the divorce process. Prioritize self-care, self-respect, and self-love as you rebuild your life.

Consult With A Divorce Attorney:

Seek legal advice

As Marilyn Stowe, a prominent divorce lawyer, highlighted, “Knowledge is power, especially in divorce cases.” Consult with a divorce attorney to understand your rights, obligations, and options regarding the legal aspects of the divorce. Having a clear understanding of your legal rights can help protect your interests and provide a smoother transition.

“Prioritize self-care, self-respect, and self-love as you rebuild your life.”

Practice self-compassion and forgiveness

In the words of Buddha, “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate the recovery process. Practice self-compassion by treating yourself with understanding and forgiveness. However, forgiveness is a personal choice and does not necessarily mean reconciliation or condoning the actions of your spouse. It’s about finding inner peace and letting go of the negativity that may hold you back.

Focus on personal growth and rediscovering yourself

As C.S. Lewis once said, “You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” Use this challenging experience as an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. Explore your interests, invest in self-improvement, and set new goals for your future. Rediscover who you are as an individual and embrace the journey of creating a fulfilling life for yourself.

Recovery From Infidelity And Divorce Is A Gradual Process:

Remember, he did not do it because of you

As I say, “He’s not doing it to you, he’s doing it for himself.” His infidelity has nothing to do with anything you did or didn’t do. This is a problem he has with lack of commitment, dishonesty and the need for risk and attention. If he says otherwise, he is the one in the wrong.

Remember, recovery from infidelity and divorce is a gradual process, and it’s essential to be patient with yourself. Surround yourself with support, prioritize your well-being, turn to a professional divorce coach and believe in your ability to heal and create a brighter future for yourself. Practice looking at all the things that are awesome about yourself, training your brain to think more positive thoughts than negative ones.

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About the Author:

Beverly Price, MBA, Certified Divorce Coach®, podcast host, and Founder of Her Empowered Divorce, combines divorce and empowerment coaching to provide education, support, and insight to guide women from beginning to end of the divorce process, and to conquer its emotional, technical, financial and logistical challenges and fears. 

She coaches women through the ups and downs and grow from self-doubt to self-love quicker, with less pain, more knowledge and more support than she had.  She has a personal history with divorce, co-parenting, domestic violence and more. Combining her personal experience with her training, professional certifications and business knowledge, she can help women by supporting them along their journey, helping them to work through resentments, time management, communication, overwhelm, fear, sadness and shock. You can schedule a complimentary consultation with Beverly at https://www.herempowereddivorce.com  Check out this Meetup group for support on Zoom for separated, divorcing, and divorced women https://www.meetup.com/womens-divorce-and-empowerment-group/