Connection Kuel Category Expert: Kay Newton
When Jack asked me to write for Kuel Life at the end of 2019 I had it all planned out, a list of connection topics to last until the end of the year.
Luckily I am aware that all good plans are meant to change and my list was moved to the rubbish bin.
It is a question we are all asking ourselves as we deal with COVID19. So far I have not found a single soul on the planet with the ‘correct’ crystal ball. Simply, we do not know what the future holds for us. If we are truthful with ourselves we have never known. Just ask someone who has been involved in a freak accident, diagnosed with cancer out of the blue, or had their marriage of 25 years dissolved – the list is endless. It just feels that this time it is not individual but a world issue.
Yet, Is It?
The problem is we are human and have human traits. We get angry when we ‘believe’ the mess we find ourselves was preventable and blame others (mainly politicians who we elected). We get angry at the fact that there is a recession looming, the economy will collapse, and we feel sad at all unnecessary upheaval. Sad that there is nothing we can do other than stay home to save lives. Sad or anger they are just feelings.
We fail to see the lesson that is right in front of us – life is not to be taken for granted. It has always changed at the drop of a hat. Period.
“When the table is well maintained you can place any ‘adventure/transition’ on the table without causing harm”
The only constant in the Universe is change; yet humans fear things they do not understand and cannot see beyond. Fear shows itself in our anger and sadness. What if the answer does not lie outside of us? What if the answer comes from within? If we have any ‘connecting’ to do right now it is to connect to what it really means to be ‘you’ and what you want for yourself for the future.
It is time to stand still to listen to your heart and connect deeply to the life you wish to lead after COVID19. Here are a few areas that you can use to guide your thoughts. I call it the Life Table. Think of an old fashioned table with four legs and a sturdy top. When the table is well maintained you can place any ‘adventure/transition’ on the table without causing harm – you are that table. Now is the perfect time to strengthen it.
Leg One – Mental and Physical Health:
“If at any point you feel insecure, whether physical or mental, it is important to reach out and ask for help.”
Coronavirus has fundamentally effected table leg one. Maslow explains in the Principals of the Hierarchy of Needs that we do not function like humans when this area is not met. Now is the time to go right back to basics. Make sure you are eating, exercising, drinking plenty of water, and sleeping as best you can during this time. Maintain social contact with those you love using modern technology, even if you are home alone.
Next, make sure you are safe. If at any point you feel insecure, whether physical or mental, it is important to reach out and ask for help. Depending on where you live, you can find a local help-line, counsellor, or someone you trust who can support you during these times.
Also, if you know of someone who may be struggling do not hesitate to check in and see how they are. When you do this it often takes your mind away from your own issues and helps you see things in a different light.
Leg Two – Financial Flow:
This is a great time to begin thinking about the possibilities and opportunities available. When you have had your livelihood taken away from you this may seem like a glib comment. Yet think about it. Money is just energy. Right now it is still flowing and transferring itself from one person to another. Ask yourself, how can money flow to me?
Take your time to be open to the possible answers. Right now many people are pivoting their business to work online. New ideas are developing quickly to fill in the gaps that COVID19 has created. Be open to those new possibilities.
Leg Three – Your Circle Of Influence:
The people you surround yourself with will influence the life you lead. Negative people will bring you down. Listening to the news and media daily will literally make you ill. Avoid both if possible.
Fortunately, social media allows us to connect fascinating people around the world. Making new friends has never been easier. The Zoom platform works really well for organising on-line coffee meetups and conversations with people that you have something in common with. Reach out, say hello, be interested in who they are, ask questions and see where it may lead. Note – Do not talk about yourself constantly!
Social media has allowed me to make friends in New Zealand, the US, Norway, UK, Panama, and Argentina. People I would have never met if it had not been for typing a quick message to say hello. Give it a go it; it literally places the world at your fingertips.
Leg Four – Knowledge:
“take time to quickly audit your life skills and ask yourself, what is it that I truly want to learn – what will make me happy”
With time on our hands, it is so easy to sign-up for an array of wonderful courses on offer, all free. The only trouble is many of them do not get opened. What seemed like a good idea at the time, feels like overwhelm on steroids as the lockdown progresses.
Before you are tempted into adding anything on offer to your knowledge base, take time to quickly audit your life skills and ask yourself, what is it that I truly want to learn – what will make me happy? If it is a skill that does not fill you with joy, instead of signing up for that course, find someone who already has that skill and reach out to them. Perhaps you can exchange your skillsets or employ them to do the work for you. Either way, it will leave you the space needed to do what really motivates you.
The Table Top – Your Crystal Ball Of Bliss:
During COVID19 our true strengths and weaknesses are coming to the fore. This is a great time to acknowledge both. Be confident with who you are, what you offer to the world, these are your reasons for being here on the planet at this time.
Question what has gone before and whether you want to continue in the same way into the future. Will you be the first to rush out when the lockdown is lifted and buy an expensive Gucci handbag or will you be donating all those items you have decluttered that no longer serve? Will you be downsizing and moving to the coast or even to another country? What will you do differently?
The questions can be deep yet this is the time to contemplate them. If you cannot go out then go within. Connect to yourself and define what will be important for you in the coming months and years. Be Sensibly Selfish and discover what will truly make you happy.
Remember, nothing is normal other than change.
Let me know how you get on.
About the Author:
Kay is the founder of Midlife Strategies, an award-winning International Speaker, and enthusiastic author. She is an acknowledged expert guiding women to find their mojo, through the Midlife Squeeze.
Kay’s books include:
- ‘The Art of Midlife Stress Busting – Seven Steps to Declutter Your Mind Without Pills or Potions’
- ‘How to Clean Your Home Organically – De-Stress Your Surroundings’
- ‘Tips and Tricks For Stress-Free Downsizing – A Step by Step Guide to Moving On’
- Co-author of the six Kindle books in the ‘Quick Fix For’ series, and a contributing author to ‘Hot Women Rock’ and ‘A Journey of Riches’.
Today, Kay lives a simple life next to a beach in Mallorca, Spain. You can find Kay here: www.KayNewton.com.