Ditch The Struggle For Flow – Kay, 57

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The Kuel Life series: “Share Your Story; the Women the WSJ Missed” continues. Week ten brings us Kay Newton, a British expat living in Mallorca Spain. Kay and I ‘met’ via social media and have developed a warm, connected, online friendship. When I asked her to participate in my series, she agreed wholeheartedly.

She is an award-winning International Speaker, enthusiastic author and Midlife Strategist, whose hundreds of clients love her straight-talking and no-nonsense practical holistic help finding their midlife mojo. I am happy to report you’ll be ‘seeing’ a lot more of Kay in the future as she joins me for my Kuel Chiefs show and you can also purchase her book, The Art of Midlife Stress Busting, in my Kuel Shop!

Here is Kay’s story:

KUELLIFE: What are you pursuing now, at this stage of your life, that surprises you or might appear to others as if it’s come out of left field?

KAY: A great first question! Whim Hoff breathing and ice baths. Yet, to be honest, I am a bit of a wimp! Living in the Mediterranean, I can only really pursue this during the winter, otherwise, I have to buy bags of ice, (That’s my excuse). This will be my first full winter living by the sea. I aim to swim every day, and not have hot water in the house. The cold water is supposed to be amazing for the immune system. We will see.

KUELLIFE: What’s a typical day like for you?

KAY: I have a system without having a typical day if that makes sense. I always start my day with a meditation, I check my schedule and a visualise of how the day will go. Followed by a homemade breakfast smoothie. Then, each day is different. If it’s a workday, you will find me at the computer creating content or making calls. As I work online and for myself, I can choose when and where I work. If it is not a work day, I love to hide with a good book, visit the local street market, or meet friends for lunch.

KUELLIFE: With what do you struggle?

KAY: Struggle is an interesting word, one I tend not to use. You may not be able to change your circumstances; yet, you can choose how you think about it. Life is much better when you ditch struggle for flow. When you choose flow, struggle disappears of its own accord.

KUELLIFE: How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?

KAY: I have always been a positive person and I am always grateful every day for the ability to wake, get out of bed, and greet the day. Native American cultures have a great saying ‘Today is a good day to die’ – I love chanting that each morning. Some days you could say I am more ‘motivated’ than others, I am human after all. My life is like my heartbeat, it goes up and down. If is was flatlined I would be dead. I am fine with the ups and downs, it is all about being in the flow.

KUELLIFE: What advice would you give fellow women about aging?

KAY: I am still 25 – no comprendo ‘ageing’!

KUELLIFE: What does vulnerability mean to you? What has the ability to make you vulnerable?

KAY: Vulnerability means being happy to share your story warts and all, to whoever wants to listen – loving who you are at this moment in time. Other people give me the ability to be vulnerable when they share their own inspiring stories.

KUELLIFE: What are three events that helped to shape your life?

KAY: Flip! Three only? I apologise in advance to my three boys – the one I married and the two that I gave birth to, as I would normally include them on such a list. Also, the ageing, illness and death of my parents; yet here are three for today…

1. Aged 16 I went on a three week Outward Bound course in the Lake District UK. I found out what my true life’s values were and this has helped me throughout my life. 2. In my 20’s, I ditched my retail job and jumped on board a private yacht. Sailed from  Hull Marina, UK and delivered the boat to Mallorca, Spain. I never swam back.          3. Becoming European Toastmaster of the Year in 2005 and overcoming my fear of standing on stage.

 

KUELLIFE: Who influenced you the most in life and why?

KAY: I was going to say my parents and then I hesitated. They were a huge stable influence growing up. We lived a simple life, had our veggie plot, and went camping (later sailing) for our holidays. Yet, I think my grandmother influenced me at a deeper layer. I spent many weekends at her home, going to her weekly social whist drives (card games) and playing in the garden whilst she told me the names of all the plants. She was well-loved in her local community. She taught me about nature and the importance of friendships.

KUELLIFE: What is the best advice you’ve been given from another woman?

KAY: I have a friend who always shares new advice each time we meet. She is my true angel. It may be something she has already shared just said in another way, yet it will be relevant for that particular moment in time. I think that’s the key. Advice is only relevant if you are willing to listen to it at the time it is given. At the moment she seems to be chanting – ‘How does that make you feel and what do you want to do about it?’ I get it. I get it!

KUELLIFE: What woman inspires you and why?

KAY: Again this is a hard question. One woman? Impossible to say. I am very inspired by my clients, I love to see the change that occurs in their lives. I lovingly call the process ‘the lightbulb and goose pimple’ moments. I intuitively know that something has changed just moments before my client realises because my skin goes all bumpy! Just seconds later their face lightens and begins to glow. It is a magical moment.

KUELLIFE: Are you grown-up?

KAY: Erm! I think that’s a NO!

KUELLIFE: What do you do for self-care?

KAY: I have ‘Sensibly Selfish’ time all of the time: daily meditation practice, journaling, eating healthy food, exercising, sleeping well, spending time with those I love and serving the most amazing people. I do have a weekly back massage, not negotiable.

KUELLIFE: And last but definitely NOT least: What are the top three things on your bucket list?

KAY: I gave up having a bucket list many years ago. I now have a ‘Full Bucket List’ instead. The idea being that I place in my bucket all that I have ‘been, done and had’ over my lifetime. The things I set out to do and have already accomplished, those moments that make me proud of who I am, the memories of the places I have visited. I would rather be grateful for my already full bucket than focus on attempting to add more. Having said that, anything else that I can add further down the road, such as being a grandmother, visiting Japan, getting a PHD in my 80’s will become the icing on the cake.

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