Guest Blogger: Claudia Hufham – Claudiareinvented
There are a lot of things that I love about being single. I can go anywhere I want, at any time I want. I have the whole entire master closet to myself. My daughter would tell you that I have ALL the closets in the house, but hey it’s my house. Which leads me to another thing I like about being single, I can spend my money on whatever I want to without having anyone else’s opinion about it.
It Is What It Is
Now for the record, I never imagined that at my age it would be just me and my dog, but those are the circumstances and learning to live with your own situation is just part of life. I am learning to be a master of adjusting my sails when the wind changes directions.
Cooking For One
One thing that I don’t really dig about it just being me is cooking. Cooking for one person is a real challenge for me. First of all, by the end of the day I am tired and cooking just isn’t what I want to do. Since no one else is depending on me to provide dinner, often I choose not to cook. When I do, I want something easy that doesn’t use every pot in the house. What usually ends up happening is that I grab a yogurt or make some popcorn. It’s not good, I get it.
I don’t even like going to the grocery store. It’s time consuming and there is so much stuff that I shouldn’t have and a low willpower threshold. I found my solution in online ordering! I just go online and order the groceries, schedule a time to pick them up and boom the groceries are in my car and I didn’t have to pass all the Oreos! Win/win. The trick to online ordering is to be organized and have everything you need on a list or otherwise you’ll forget something.
In trying to make my life easier and eat healthier, I decided to try one of those meal plans, but of course, they only have them for 2, 4 or 6. I decided that maybe I could make the plan for 2 work, so I gave it a try. I signed up with Every Plate. The food came packed really well and was all recyclable material. That’s a good thing. The recipes were fairly easy and the meals were really good! However, it was A LOT of food. One meal would last me for days. Something else I’ve discovered about myself, I am not that into leftovers! I ended up wasting food and that’s not good, so I canceled. The people at Every Plate were great and I really do recommend them. It just wasn’t a fit for me.
I have had more than one of my married friends tell me how envious they are of my single life. You know the grass is always greener…Being single does present challenges sometimes; just as being in a relationship does. Like there is no one to split the chores with. No one to kill the yucky bugs that make their way in, and no one to clean the roof off. I’ve learned to deal with all of them. Yay me!
Table For One
I traveled a lot for work over the years and often had anxiety over eating in a restaurant by myself. I thought everyone would be looking at me and wondering why I had no friends to eat with. It didn’t take me long to figure out that no one really cared and I had to eat.
Once, when I was traveling for work, I ended up in a small town in Florida. When I came back to the hotel after working I asked the guy at the front desk where was a good place to have dinner. He said “well, the closest place is in The Villages”. I had no idea what The Villages was but soon found out all about it.
I drove into the community and followed his directions to the “downtown” area where there were stores, restaurants, a movie theater, Starbucks, and a whole lot of golf carts. Apparently, the Villages is a retirement community with lots of golf courses and amenities for adults 55 years and older.
As I walked into one of the happening restaurants, the hostess, of course, said “How many?”. I looked around at how busy they were and said “It’s just me and I’ll be happy to sit at the bar. I don’t want to take up a whole table for just me.” The girl smiled and said “OK, but let me warn you, you are going to get hit on.” I was so flattered! For a moment was feeling a little cocky, but that was before I realized the median age for this place is maybe 78 and any new woman is fair game. It really had nothing to do with my looks, but rather the fact that I was breathing.
I ordered dinner and a cocktail; chatted with the handsome young bartender; met a nice couple who were seated beside me, who had met on Match.com, and were trying their best to convince me to create a profile.
Here Comes Harry
As I finished up my dinner, the bartender looked past me and said enthusiastically “ Hi Harry what’s up my man?” No sooner than he had finished his greeting and I started to look in that direction, an older man, I’m guessing late 70’s, early 80’, with the jet black hair (that may or may not have been HIS) was right next to me. He smiled reached out his hand and said “Well, who is this?” Apparently, Harry knows every single woman in the village except me and that was unacceptable. I smiled and introduced myself. I was internally beating myself up for being the least bit flattered about the statement made by the hostess. Harry looked at the bartender and said get this young lady (in this case the term seemed appropriate) a drink. I hadn’t even gotten the “No, I’m fine” out of my mouth the bartender set a chocolate martini in front of me.
Now, there are a lot of things I have no problem drinking; a cosmopolitan, a beer, but a chocolate martini was a big fat no way!. It was just a waste of chocolate, if you ask me, but I was feeling obligated at this point to at least have a sip.
I had to admire Harry. He knew what he wanted and he went after it. Good for him. He slid his chair closer and watched as I lifted the disgusting drink to my lips. “Where are you from Claudia? Did you just move here? Are you married?” He peppered me with questions, leaving no room for me to answer any of them. I waited for him to take a breath and told him I was only there for a few days and I was in town on business. He then proceeded to tell me that if I didn’t want to stay at my hotel I could stay with him. Then assured me that as his age he could only snuggle at this point. Wait; what?!
Laugh Or Cry
OK so first, I suppose there is a certain point in your life when you have no time for fluff, you have to get right to the point. For Harry, time’s a ticking. I get it and even though I was taken aback by his bluntness, on some level flattered by that offer…? I was torn between being mad and setting Harry straight, or laughing until I cried. Second of all, that happened to be the best offer I had had in months; if not years. How pathetic.
I smiled my sweetest southern “bless your heart” smile and politely told Harry that I needed to go. I grabbed my stuff and headed towards the door. The hostess gave me an “I told you so” glance and I gave her big ‘ol eye roll. That’s what happens when you get cocky!
Although I laugh about this story often, that was the day that it hit me. A table for one was going to be the way to go from then on out!
One Is Not The Loneliest Number
Being single, like anything, has it’s good points and bad. Even though I am single, doesn’t mean I’m alone! I have great friends, family and of course Rokko (my dog). When someone ask me “Why are you single?”, and they do more than I’d like, I usually say it’s because I didn’t pass on those chain messages on Facebook…I’m pretty sure. And if you think about it Superwoman is single, Batgirl is single, Wonder woman is single so there you go, maybe I’ll go with I’m a superhero!
My circumstances are what they are and I don’t have the time or energy to be sad about it. Heck, the beauty is that I can be selfish with my time, money, and space. I can cancel plans if I don’t feel like going, spend money on things I don’t need, and sleep in my bed like a starfish! I choose to focus on the positive things and live my best life single.
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About the Author
Claudia Hufham is a blogger, mom to two grown kids and a Boxer/American Bulldog, who found herself looking for a new career at age 59. In her quest to reinvent herself and save her sanity, she started a blog. Her humor and down to earth story telling of her life lessons have led her to be featured on sites like Feedspot.com. You can read more from Claudia at Claudiareinvented. You can follow Claudia on her Instagram and FaceBook Page as well.
Claudiareinvented is featured on Feedspot as one of the Top 10 Women Over 50 Blogs