Guest Writer and Kuel Life Coach: Carin Aichele
In the midst of selling my quasi-resort home in CA to relocate to 9,000 vertical snow-covered feet in the CO Rockies and with the daunting task of building my “dream home”, I find myself disquieted. I’ve been very out-focused. There’s been weeks of cleaning, repairing, packing, pricing, staging, selling stuff and coordinating to finally arrive at “on the market” status. And now I wait, in a deeply bittersweet state, for the perfect buyer.
In an attempt to reconcile the clearly natural question: Are you nuts? What are you thinking making this massive change at 51?, I sat down with a tried and true favorite book…well, it’s more of a workbook…a grueling yet liberating workbook offering a path to self-awareness or your own soul. I picked up ‘Entering the Castle’ by Caroline Myss. I opened the book where my signature, purple-color, erase pencil dutifully held my place. I vigorously write notes in margins, underline and place an asterisk beside ideas that inspire me. A cautionary note to future “dream home” guests: Frequent pre-sunrise automatic pencil sharpening may cause sleep disruption leading to exceptional cappuccino and great sunrise conversation!
I opened the book to page 186 and saw the title “Fearless Bliss”. Wanting more of that, I dove in. This immediately resonated:
“By shedding fear, you gain bliss – not perfection, not the end of problems or strife or difficulties, because those come with life. But even in the midst of all the problems that embody the business of life, you can know bliss, you can be fearless.” ~ Caroline Myss
This quote, from her book Entering the Castle, invited me to ask myself some questions – so I began journaling. I wrote a clear and concise list of what equals bliss for me. I love doing exercises like this because the chasm between what I am actually doing and what is truly meaningful to me becomes instantly apparent. I understand that sometimes that chasm feels impossible to bridge and that oftentimes it seems easier to not know when we are out of alignment, not authentic or true to ourselves…it’s not easier though…our ego just tries to trick us into believing so. I find that resistance gets me in trouble and surrender usually feels better. That said, I’m more than sure I have some resistance around selling my home but that’s another blog.
My bliss list looks like this:
- Quiet Time
- Experiencing things I love (Nature, Biking, Hiking, Snow-boarding, adventure and exploration)
- Creative Expression
- Feeling connected to God
At first, I wanted to criticize myself for straying too far, for being out of balance and for ignoring what makes me joyous. I reigned myself in from any self-loathing recognizing it as a mere distraction tactic that keeps us confused and certainly not blissful. I said, “Carin, what are you afraid of right now that’s blocking bliss?” I furiously began composing a volume of future-driven fears:
- What if I can’t afford my dream home?
- What if I never make money again…much less a lot of it?
- What if this is all a mistake?
- What if I’m too old for all of this?…on and on along these lines.
As you might imagine, this list created anxiety. I went back to my bliss list and thought about how I might see where I am experiencing the essences now even if it doesn’t look like I expect it to and what possibility I have for creating more in the near future. For every item, I was able to recognize how I actually am nurturing my soul at an essential level even though I am not doing the specific activities that I expect to illicit blissful feelings.
At the end of the long property cleanup days, I have taken quiet time to sit in the yard and watch the hummingbird patiently sit atop her nest while the woodpecker parents dutifully go in and out of the hollowed out tree limb endlessly feeding their young. At every turn, I have been collaborating with my BFF and real estate agent to repair, clean and stage my home. I am sharing my creativity working with a spiritual mentor to write, edit and publish her body of healing work in preparation to deliver trainings.
Acknowledging how I am aligned with my bliss list instead of focusing upon how I wish it were different gave me a sense of acceptance and appreciation for what is…right here, right now. From that place of acceptance, I believe we find empowerment and courage to go forward creatively making choices that lead to our joy.
In order to keep my bliss, I made some more aware choices about how I want to go forward and what I intend to prioritize. I’m choosing to be grounded and focused upon today; present to my big, full, demanding life while driven by the essences that create bliss for me instead of trying to control specific details of how or what it should be. I choose to surrender to the moment and trust both myself and the universe to bring me exactly what is meant for me today…and then the little voice inside my head said “Easy Carin, the Super-Woman cape is at the dry cleaners”. I chuckled at that reality check, feeling at ease and optimistic.
Summarizing this experience, I offer this Bliss Checklist:
- Write a Bliss List
- Check in with what’s blocking your bliss (fears)
- Look at your current reality through the lens of alignment instead of lack
- Acknowledge your state of being when you recognize the alignment – CELEBRATE!!!
- Make choices to support yourself
While bliss doesn’t always don the mask we recognize, it can be found in the seeming little things when we open our awareness, create a more accepting relationship with the faces and forms of bliss and then get the fears out of the way so we can create more!
Carin Aichele is THE CHANGE AGENT. She is a personal and professional empowerment coach and inspirational speaker. Carin is masterful at supporting you in achieving any goal. Her auxiliary skills include mindfulness/consciousness coaching, spiritual direction and shamanic practitioner services. Her personal joys include her golden retriever pup, outdoor activity, travel, photography and writing. She is frequently found traveling solo throughout the USA and Canada in her RV gathering fodder for her book: The Courageous Woman’s Journey ~ Musings on Wandering with Curiosity and Wonder. Find Carin on our website under the Coaching section, under Life Coaching. She can also be found on her website Imagine Create Be. Follow Carin on Facebook and Instagram.
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