Midlife Musings: Peggy Bell
Mindset is a term you’ve probably heard once or twice (or dozens of times). Everyone seems to be talking about it as they try to manifest what they desire in life. Changing your mindset can help you to manifest your desired life.
Our mindset is what produces the thoughts we have and the attitude that accompanies those thoughts. It shapes our thinking, which in turn controls our actions and how we feel about things. So, how do you know if you are in need of a mindset change?
Here Are Five Telltale Signs That It May Be Time For One:
- You tend to focus more on failure than on success. You feel angry and disappointed over every failure, but you forget to celebrate your wins. Doing this will send negative messages to your mind that you fail at everything you attempt. This isn’t true of course, but these are the signals you unconsciously send yourself.
- You have a victim mentality. You may have been a victim of unfortunate experiences. Maybe you have been hurt by people you love or even been traumatized from some incident of the past. You have a difficult time getting past the hurt and the pain they caused. The moments replay in your mind. You feel as though you are destined to live with these thoughts for the rest of your life.
- You have social media envy. It is easy to look at photos, posts, and messages from others on social media and compare their “flawless and glamorous” life with your own. It makes you feel worse about yourself and you begin to focus on what you don’t have instead of what you do.
- You obsess about things you are not able to control or change. Some things you come across in life are beyond your control. You complain about politics, construction traffic, weather, or even other people. And your mind becomes filled with all the things you are unhappy with rather than the things that bring you happiness.
- You lack a grateful heart. You focus on what is wrong with the world, with other people, or your own shortcomings instead of focusing on what is right. And you lack gratitude for what you have.
When you realize the reason you feel so unhappy or unfulfilled is because you have a negative mindset, you will know it is time for a mindset change. Doing so will make you feel better about yourself and will attract more abundance into your life.
“Social media is so often unrealistic. Keep in mind people rarely post the ugly parts of their life.”
Let’s Look At How We Can Change Those Five Areas Just Mentioned:
1. Focus on Wins:
Instead of focusing on failure, make a conscientious attempt to acknowledge your wins. Get a diary or a notebook and intentionally look for your wins during the day. Write them down each time. This will begin to have you focus on the positive rather than your failings. Over time, it will become a habit to see the good in even the smallest things.
2. More Than Your Experiences:
Experiences we have endured may have been painful and sad. Don’t let that define you as a person. You are more than your experience, and you have endured it long enough. The past is called the past for a reason. Forgive if you have to for your own well-being. Forgiveness allows you to take back your power. No one deserves to be in control of you. (You can forgive a person without them ever knowing.) Let go of the past.
3. Ignore Social Media:
Social media is so often unrealistic. Keep in mind people rarely post the ugly parts of their life. You likely won’t see the skeletons they keep hidden in their closets. What they choose to show you is unlikely an accurate representation of life. Don’t compare your life to anyone else’s. You only know what is true about your own life. The truth is, there are many people in this world who would love to have your life. As unglamorous as you may think it is, there are so many whose lives are much worse than your own. Focus on what you do have instead of what you don’t.
“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” – Napoleon Hill
4. Focus On What You Can Control:
The only thing you can control is yourself. Identify what you can control and what you can change about your own actions and thoughts. Decide how you can make them more positive. Stop complaining and start taking the type of actions that will bring you a greater sense of joy and accomplishment. What can you change in your own life to make it better?
5. Gratitude Attitude:
Develop an attitude of gratitude. Acknowledge that no one is perfect and everyone learns lessons in life as days come and go. You are perfectly imperfect. Find something to be grateful for each day. Writing them down in a journal is a great way to get into a habit of doing this. Show gratitude for not only the big things in your life but the small things as well.
If your mindset is in need of a change, start working to change it now. Living each day with positive and healthy thoughts creates a better environment, not just for yourself, but also for those around you.
About the Author:
Peggy Bell is a Midlife Coach for women who want to move forward past loss to find purpose and joy in this new season of life. She is also a public speaker, author, and course creator. She launched her business, Live Your Purpose, after retiring from a forty-year teaching career, just in time for her sixtieth birthday.
Peggy is the author of five books, with her sixth soon to be released. Her work has been published in such places as Thrive Global, Women’s World, and Open to Hope to name a few. Peggy invites you to join her Facebook community.