Momming Adult Kids: Denise Drinkwalter
In the realm of parenting, few things are as heart-wrenching as seeing your children unwell.
It’s a pain that’s impossible to ignore, and it raises a challenging question: How do we summon the strength to support our kids while dealing with the agony and anguish that engulfs us?
Our eldest daughter, Alex, has always been the picture of health. Apart from her lifelong hearing impairment, she rarely encountered health issues beyond the occasional cold or flu. The kinds of ailments that visit us all at some point in life.
“As with any surgery of this nature, the removed tissues had to be biopsied.”
The Arrival Of Health Problems:
So, when Alex casually mentioned a few years ago that she was getting a lump in her neck checked out, none of us thought much of it. It seemed like a routine precautionary measure. However, as fate would have it, this seemingly minor health check set off a chain of events that would challenge our family in ways we couldn’t have imagined.
Two surgeries later, and half of her thyroid removed, we thought we were in the clear. But the medical rollercoaster was far from over. It turned out that the other half of her malfunctioning thyroid needed to be removed as well. Our fight with Alex’s health problems was far from over.
As a mother of three young children, Alex found it tough to distinguish between the exhaustion of raising a trio of kids under five and something more sinister. Sadly, it was the latter. As with any surgery of this nature, the removed tissues had to be biopsied. And that’s when we received the devastating news. Cancer cells were present, necessitating the removal of the second half of her thyroid.
We were resilient in the face of this shocking revelation, knowing that her father had been battling Small Lymphocytic Lymphoma, remaining on a watch-and-wait protocol since 2018. It seemed that Alex had inherited not only her father’s looks and personality but also his genetic predispositions to illness.
Drawing Support And Love From Our Family:
The toughest part, however, was still ahead for Alex. Her specialist doctor at the cancer clinic delivered the grim news that she needed radiation treatment. This meant scheduling precise appointments and enduring up to 10 days of complete isolation from other adults and children.
“It has taught me that, despite our own anguish, we can make life mentally easier for our adult children.”
Thankfully, a self-enclosed trailer on their property, provided by her in-laws, allowed Alex to catch glimpses of her children playing outside through a glass window. Meanwhile, we, as grandparents, stepped up to the plate.
We took care of the kids overnight and kept them engaged to help them “forget” that they couldn’t touch, hold, or hug their mommy for a few days. It was especially challenging for the six, three, and 14-month-old kids, but their father showed immense strength, drawing support and love from our family to ease the transition while Mom was in isolation.
In the quiet of my own home, away from prying eyes, I couldn’t help but shed a tear or two. I marveled at Alex’s good fortune in the face of adversity and lamented the unfairness of diseases and sickness affecting our lives. I found solace in the belief that there’s a greater plan at play.
Newfound Strength As A Mother:
Through this ordeal, I’ve discovered a newfound strength as a mother supporting our adult daughter through trials I wish didn’t exist. It has taught me that, despite our own anguish, we can make life mentally easier for our adult children – even in the face of health problems. By showing them our unwavering love and recognizing them as the capable adults they are, we empower them to confront life’s challenges with the tenacity, desire, and strength that reside deep within them.
It is my hope that you too share a loving relationship that can provide invaluable support to those dearest to you. May they always know that they are loved immeasurably and can lean on you whenever the need arises, just as you can lean on them when circumstances demand it.
Note: Check out Author’s bio below for additional support and resources.
About the Author:
Denise is a sought-after international empowerment life coach who fully believes in the power of awareness, self-care, knowledge, and time. Denise has a gift and is able to combine her 31 years of award-winning teaching, and first-hand experiences as a Mom of three incredible well-established, happy and prosperous children to support the successful coaching roles she enlists.
She is an experienced Empowerment Life Coach and has worked with hundreds of clients taking them from being hollow, overwhelmed, and lost to finding purpose and zest for life! You can learn more about Denise here.