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I’m My Own Biggest Obstacle

Fern Weis September 2023 1

Parent Coach for Moms of Teens: Fern Weis

I’m my own biggest obstacle. It’s true. My biggest obstacle is me.

Yes, life and the world can throw me off kilter more than I’d like. Still, the root of it all is me, my thoughts, and my beliefs.

Upset by someone’s response to me? The child in me wants to be liked; yet it puts me in the passive, victim state. The person in front of me is easy to blame. If only they’d … whatever.

Biggest Obstacle:

Now I know that I get to choose my response. I have a choice about how to respond. I don’t have to give up or give in to be liked. Furthermore, I won’t lie, it’s hard work, and so worth it. I don’t want to be that child anymore.

Controlling my diabetes? My family loves me. Still, junk food appears in the cabinets. The ultimate responsibility for what goes in my mouth is mine. There will always be times and places when the food on the table is calling my name. And when I do give in to temptation, I’m learning (oh, so slowly) to be gentle with myself. Judging myself never takes me anywhere good. And that stress on my body isn’t good for my diabetes, either.

“Now I know that I get to choose my response. I have a choice about how to respond.”

Building my business? I love coaching parents, really love it, more than anything I’ve done before. Everything else it takes to build a business? That I don’t like.

Challenges And Solutions:

I could blame external factors: the economy, people’s priorities, timing. Something feels hard, there’s not enough information, I’m so very tired. The reason doesn’t matter. The problem isn’t ‘out there’.

It’s inside, between my ears, in my thoughts and beliefs. The problem is when I lose focus on what is and isn’t in my control. The only things in my control are my thoughts, beliefs, choices, and actions. Moreover, the challenges are mine and the solutions are mine. Period. I share these personal experiences and learning with parents.

Parenting is easier – and more satisfying – when we recognize what’s our business and what’s not; learn not to take personally the words and moods of our teens; and do what needs to be done, rather than what feels easier.

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Fern Weis

About the Author:

Fern Weis is a Parent Empowerment Coach for Moms of Teens and a Family Recovery Coach. She’s also a wife, former middle school teacher, and the parent of two adult children who taught her more about herself than she ever could have imagined.  

Fern partners with moms of teens and young adults, privately and in groups. She helps them grow their confidence to build strong relationships and emotionally healthier kids who become successful adults. She knows first-hand that when parents do the work, the possibilities for change are limitless; that it’s never too late to start; and you don’t have to do it alone. Learn more about Fern at www.fernweis.com.