Midlife Myths & Realities: Andrea M. Slominski, Ph.D.
Midlife and Menopause: each woman’s experience of this time of life is a unique as she is.
For all women, this time of transformation comes with the realization, “I’m aging, I’m getting older.” It’s a clear message that our lives, no matter how perfectly arranged and cared for, will not remain the same; change is constant. We are supposed to age.
The Psychologist James Hillman writes, “Aging is no accident. It is necessary to the human
condition, intended by the soul. We become more characteristic of who we are simply by lasting into later years; the older we become, the more our true natures emerge. Thus, the final years have a very important purpose: the fulfillment and confirmation of one’s character.” [1]
No matter how we hope to age, gracefully or swinging from the chandeliers, to accomplish our goals, we have to be living. If we are to age “into our true nature” and “fulfill our character,” we have to be healthy enough to do so.
Prioritizing Your Health First:
Women have to start prioritizing their health.
During the Householder Years (18-45), culture and biology compel us to care for everything and everyone else: our friends, colleagues, siblings, parents, careers, partners, children, homes, etc.
“If we are to age “into our true nature” and “fulfill our character,” we have to be healthy enough to do so.”
If we want to age into our Regency Years (45-70+) and the later Wise Woman Years (70+) with autonomy and with choices, we need to be purposeful and turn some of that focus back onto ourselves, tending to our physical and psychological health.
There is new and longstanding research on the effects of menopause and midlife on women’s health. It is never too soon and never too late to take action to preserve and improve your health. If you have been following my blogs here, you know at sixty-five, I’m starting HRT for my bone, thyroid, heart, cognitive, and mental health.
As women who want to live vibrant and engaged long lives, we need to remind each other to take care of ourselves. Here are some critical facts.
Take Care Of Your Heart:
Coronary heart disease is the leading cause of death for women. About 80% of women ages 40 to 60 have one or more risk factors for coronary heart disease. [2]
These are the leading causes of death for women, according to a 2017 study by the CDC. [3]
- Heart Disease 21.8%
- Cancer 20.7%
- Chronic lower respiratory diseases 6.2%
- Stroke 6.2%
Go to your doctor or health clinic and get your physicals, mammograms, colonoscopy, pap smears, and bloodwork. See a mental health professional if you need support. Eat healthily, exercise, maintain a healthy weight, and seek support from your physicians when you need it.
At this moment, I am sitting in a hospital room with a loved one, waiting for them to have an outpatient procedure. They don’t do a good job of taking care of their health. I have encouraged, nagged, and tried for years. Don’t be the person who drags your family and friends into caregiving because you ignored your health, and don’t be the woman who can’t live to your fullness of character because you always put everyone else first. (I understand that some illnesses can happen requiring caregivers. If we have done our best to preserve our health, then we can rest in that knowledge, no matter what happens.)
“Don’t be the person who drags your family and friends into caregiving because you ignored your health”
Be Your Own Health Advocate:
Psychologist Marion Woodman writes, “A life truly lived constantly burns away veils of illusion, burns away what is no longer relevant, gradually reveals our essence, until, at last, we are strong enough to stand in our naked truth.” [4]
May your naked truth be strong, vital, and engaged in the best life has to offer until the end.
- Hillman, James. The Force of Character and the Lasting Life
- https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/coronary-heart-disease/women#:~:text=Coronary%20heart%20disease%20is%20the,factors%20for%20coronary%20heart%20disease.
- https://www.cdc.gov/women/lcod/2017/all-races-origins/index.htm
- Woodman, Marion. Coming Home to Myself: Reflections for Nurturing a Woman’s Body & Soul
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About the Author:
Andrea M. Slominski, Ph.D., is an author, speaker, and women’s midlife coach. During her dissertation research and study, she explored the new life stage for women that has emerged over the past 100 years.
Naming this new life stage, from ages 45-70, Regency, Dr. A. has spoken at conferences, published articles, and coached women to make the most of their emerging power years. Dr. A. guides women 45+ through the often-tumultuous transformations during perimenopause, midlife, and menopause. She uses tools that include creativity, story, mythology, imagination, ceremony, and ritual. If you need support for your Regency years, including all the changes of midlife and menopause, I’m here for you. Email me at
in**@dr***************.com
