Money Expert: Melissa Ternes
You’re standing in the store, admiring a beautiful item … what do you say to yourself? To your best friend standing beside you? To the sales associate? And what does that have to do with your money?
Possibilities Are Endless:
Most times there are jumbles of things going on in our minds, I call it mind churn. And what’s churning in your mind, usually comes out of your mouth. So, did you say, I’d love to have it … BUT … it’s too expensive, I just bought one the other day, I’ve already spent so much, I deserve this because I work hard, someone at home will comment if I bring another thing home, I could hide it in the car, I could say it was a gift … the possibilities are endless. The things you’re saying out loud or in your head are framing the world you see. And when it comes to money, unless we’ve done work on our relationship with money, the thoughts and words are all too often negative, or justifying, or defensive.
When you think or say negative things about money, it creates a gap between you and your feelings about money. A gap in your money relationship. Think about it, would you want to be close to a friend who was always negative, justifying, and defending why they were right? Or would you distance yourself from them?
“Look for ways to change the words you’re saying and the thoughts you’re thinking.”
Your thoughts and words become your reality. I invite you to listen to what you’re saying at every interaction with money. If you hear all of the reasons why it’s negative, won’t work, etc. look for a reframe into how it could be possible. Here’s an example, “I can’t afford that” can be reframed in several ways. One, “that’s not a financial priority for me right now”, being clear it is something you would like. Or two, “how can I afford it”, what can I do to make it possible now. Look for ways to change the words you’re saying and the thoughts you’re thinking. This small step alone will brighten your money outlook and your life for that matter.
Now if you’re saying, but Melissa, it’s true, it’s too expensive. If it’s something you want the reframe can be it’s more than my current money set-point for that item. If it’s a judgment, then simply say, that’s not what I choose to use my money for and let it go.
In every way, our words, thoughts, and beliefs are shaping our world. What is the sound of your money and what is it creating in your life? It’s never too late to be, do, and have something different, something better, something in alignment for you!
About the Author:
Melissa Ternes is a financial empowerment coach, author, serial entrepreneur, wife, dog mom and lover of travel. Melissa is based in Raleigh, North Carolina and when she’s not out speaking or teaching, she’s seeking an adventure on the “pretty blue water” of Belize. You can connect with Melissa on LinkedIn and check-out her website at Master Your Money Now.