Sex, Aphrodite Awakening, Kuel Category Expert: Beth Keil
If you are a woman in midlife, embracing and expressing your sexuality, passion, and desire can feel like stepping out onto a stage, naked.
Sex OK For Procreation:
We seem relegated to only speaking publicly about being sexual when, or if, we want to become pregnant. When my daughter-in-law recently told me they’re looking at having a baby, it struck me – she was telling me they’re having sex, and plan on having lots of it! However, if I were to tell my family or friends, I was having sex for the intimacy, play, fun, and passion, I doubt I’d hear “Congratulations!” (Okay, some friends would be thrilled for me.)
But why do we avoid the stage and avoid speaking of our erotic sexual expression, let alone about it as a source of pleasure, fun, and passion?
We are judged in this culture as we’re growing up. And, we become such good students. We learn how to be our own inner critic and fear being judged. This culture has a lot to say about how our bodies should look, what it means to be sexy, as well as getting older. No wonder we can find ourselves judging our bodies and whether we’ll be seen as sexy, sexual, and desirable. This is one reason why we feel vulnerable being on stage!
Another reason why the stage is a vulnerable place to be is, if your childhood was like mine, learning about sex centered on what could go wrong, such as getting a disease or ending up pregnant. There was also one’s reputation to think about. And, back then, if you’d still be marriageable.
Did you ever hear pleasure mentioned or that sex could be a lot fun?
When we’re young, what we learn becomes the blueprint for perceiving, thinking, and feeling through our lives. But keep in mind, the blueprints can change so you can embrace your inner Aphrodite and who you truly are!
I admit, as a sexuality educator during the 70’s and 80’s, I didn’t use words such as pleasure and fun. They weren’t in the curriculum; nor did I hear them associated with sex. So, on a subconscious level, I didn’t even think they were related!
A Book Changed My Thinking:
“I wasn’t sure they’d sell it to me”
Do you remember the book, The Joy of Sex by Alex Comfort? It was the first book I ever bought on sex, and it was a big deal for me. I was 16 or 17 years old, and I wasn’t sure they’d sell it to me (why, I can’t tell you). Boy did I feel brave as I picked it up and paid for it at the bookstore.
Let’s start with the words “joy” and “sex” being related to each other. What a concept that was! The pictures were drawn in black and white, and both men and women had underarm hair. Until then, I had never seen a woman with hair there! The Joy of Sex also had a menu of sexual positions and activities I’d never seen depicted, and many I’d never heard of before.
What really made the biggest lasting impression is they looked like they were enJOYing each other and what they were doing.
I didn’t change overnight. I still had to deal with my inner critic, who on rare occasions, still whispers in my ear. But now, I tell it where to go! Being aware of cultural programming helps me know what is not about me. And, that it’s only something I was told I should think. What has made the biggest impact on me embracing, expressing, and celebrating my inner Aphrodite is what hypnosis taught me about the mind, and the effect the past has on how we feel and what we do. Most importantly, how to change!
Yes, there are times being on that stage can feel vulnerable. So now, as I start to walk up those steps, I acknowledge it while I take a deep breath in, and as I exhale, I take the stage and make it mine!
Here’s to you taking center stage!
About The Author:
Beth Keil helps her clients change and transform their lives. She offers a special focus on helping people claim the birthright of their erotic identity and to live in the joy, intimacy, and connection it brings. Beth is a Registered Nurse, MindSet Coach, and a Board Certified Hypnotist. Through her work, she enjoys integrating all her interests, experiences, and skills to bring sensuality, sex, and the erotic into greater awareness and conversation. You can schedule a 30-minute complimentary phone consultation with Beth using the Discovery Session icon.