Positive Aging Thought Leader: Maria Leonard Olsen
I was feeling a bit blue and decided to do something about it by rediscovering joy through play.
Sometimes watching a comedy on television or on stage helps to lift my spirits, or talking with a trusted friend, who has the ability to make me laugh, especially at myself. Getting outside and playing, though, provides the biggest dopamine jump.
Celebration Of Joy, Love, New Life And The Triumph:
I am a 60-year-old divorced commercial litigator in Washington, D.C. My children are grown and flown. While we have a collegial group of attorneys at my law firm, I cannot really express myself with silliness and childlike abandon while at work. So I have learned the value of scheduling play into my life.
I went last weekend to an ancient Hindu annual festival called Holi that is known as the Festival of Colors. I had read about this festival in the past and learned about one near me on Facebook events. Holi is a celebration of joy, love, new life and the triumph of good over evil. Participants are encouraged to throw brilliant naturally-colored powder paint at each other and have fun, dance, and sing!
” Holi is a celebration of joy, love, new life and the triumph of good over evil.”
I called a friend the morning of the festival and she decided to join me in the fun. She is in the midst of an acrimonious divorce and welcomed the diversion. Neither of us knew much about what to expect.
Holi loosely enacts a game the Hindu god Krishna played with his milkmaids. It represents the fun and flirtatiousness of the gods, the passing of the seasons, and the illusory nature of the material world. The festival is celebrated around the world and is a huge celebration in India, involving whole towns.
Participants were of all ages. Children reveled in tricking their elders and chasing their friends around armed with harmless colored powder. Everyone seemed to be in a joyful mood and ready for some good-natured fun.
Like A Kid Again:
I left the celebration elated and covered from head to toe in colored powders.
I felt like a kid again, in the best way. As I age, I am less concerned about what others think of me. It feels increasingly liberating. I even stopped at a produce stand on my way home and enjoyed the funny looks I received in my rainbowed appearance.
When I was in rehab for alcoholism, playtime was encouraged. At times, it even was scheduled, like board game hour to get our minds off of the hard, emotionally-taxing work we were doing. I was hesitant to participate in scheduled play at first, but quickly appreciated the utility of fun and laughter.
Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, writes about how childlike wonder and abandon is tamped down in adults in today’s society, to our detriment. We grow up laden with societal messaging that we are to behave in “appropriate” ways, whatever that means. We learn to recognize the judgment that exists in the world. Ruiz’s distilled Toltec wisdom changed my life with its simple yet profound truths, which included the notion of rediscovering the joy we felt so freely and expressed more often in childhood.
“We learn to recognize the judgment that exists in the world.”
As we age, many of us are increasingly able to unlearn things that held us back from our authentic selves. The women I know through the Kuel Life community seem to be better adept at shedding the mantel of judgment. I like to think of this practice as dropping the rocks of self-judgment, as well as the judgment of others. One apt analogy I like is that we go through life putting rocks into a figurative backpack we carry and, as we age, we remove the rocks that no longer serve us.
Rediscovering Joy Through Play In The World:
If we can re-discover our wonder and joy in the world, our lives are elevated and our worries and preoccupations can melt away. There are few things I enjoy more than dancing as if no one is watching! In fact, dancing around my house to 70s and 80s rock and roll between work projects or while doing chores has become my primary form of exercise these days. Sometimes, I take opportunities to hop on playground equipment, especially swings and merry-go-rounds when I happen upon a playground in my daily travels.
Other organizations have emerged that recognize the science of happiness and the importance of building fun into our lives as adults. I have attended several online happiness summits that have given me fruitful ideas and perspectives. Getting to a live event or site that promotes happiness and play, for me, is even better.
A group called Daybreaker organizes yoga and dance parties in 33 cities around the world, which I attend whenever possible. The Daybreaker events I have attended in Washington, D.C. often were at the venerable John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts, overlooking the Potomac River. At these events, hundreds of people gathered to greet the sunrise with group yoga for the first hour and then broke out into exuberant dancing, accompanied by musicians and a DJ for the second hour. Daybreaker has been “breaking the day with dance, energy, intention and joy” for more than ten years. It is a multigenerational, women-owned group, that welcomes all people. Their events are alcohol and substance free.
“Getting to a live event or site that promotes happiness and play, for me, is even better.”
Dupont Circle:
With Love DC also promotes fun for adults. I have attended their silent disco party in the middle of busy Dupont Circle in downtown Washington, D.C., as well as their adult recess events around the city. With Love DC also hosts an annual fall Women of the Wild retreat in Pennsylvania or West Virginia, which is great fun and has elements that make me feel like a child at camp.
D.C. also has a museum called Dopamine Land, which features a pillow fight room, adult ball pit, rap-music making studio and other fun-enhancing activities. There are happiness museums around the world and happiness Facebook groups cropping up with increased frequency.
With internet access, we can find others who want to experience innocent, childlike fun and wonder. Joy shared certainly is doubled! What will you try?
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About the Author:
Maria Leonard Olsen is an attorney, author, radio show and podcast host in the Washington, D.C., area. For more information about her work, see www.MariaLeonardOlsen.com and follow her on social media at @fiftyafter50. Her latest book, 50 After 50: Reframing the Next Chapter of Your Life, which has served as a vehicle for helping thousands of women reinvigorate their lives, is offered for sale on this website.
