Divorce and Transitions: Mardi Winder-Adams
Once you have been through a divorce, it is logical to expect that the next relationship will be free from the mistakes of the first marriage.
Have A Pre-Nuptial In Place:
Unfortunately, that is not the case – at least on a statistical basis. While first marriages hover around the 50% divorce rate, second marriages have a 60% divorce rate, and third marriages are at 73%. In addition, the average length of a first marriage is seven years, while the second marriage drops down to five years.
“Having a prenup in place before your next marriage is a game-changer.”
Based on the numbers, it is essential to do what you need to do to heal yourself and make the changes you need to make for the success of your next relationship. This means taking time to reflect on your role in any issues that lead to the breakdown in the relationship. As well as healing, discovering the changes you want to make, and becoming satisfied with who you are and what you do in the world. It is also essential to plan how to limit your risk when entering a new relationship.
In today’s blog, I want to dive into a topic that might seem unromantic but is incredibly important when it comes to protecting yourself and your future: pre-nuptial agreements. I know, the mere mention of the word can be off-putting, but trust me, having a prenup in place before your next marriage is a game-changer.
Secure Your Financial Picture:
When it comes to marriage, love and trust are critical. However, it’s equally important to safeguard your financial security. A pre-nuptial agreement is like a financial safety net. It allows you and your partner to openly discuss and establish guidelines for the division of assets and debts, ensuring a fair and equitable distribution if a divorce occurs. This also has the added benefit of reducing legal costs, divorce disputes, and confusion around the financial aspects of the process.
If a partner is unwilling to at least discuss the possibility or immediately becomes defensive and starts blaming you for being “all about the money,” take notice. After all, it is protecting their assets as well. In virtually all cases, the individual with limited assets is the first to complain, refuse, or immediately become hostile at the mention of a prenup. Their reaction can be a springboard to talk about thoughts around money and why the idea is so difficult or distasteful for your partner.
Plan For The Unexpected With Pre-Nuptial Agreement:
Life is full of surprises, and unfortunately, not all surprises are happy and positive. Having a prenup in place creates a plan for when these unpleasant issues negatively impact the sustainability of the relationship.
A pre-nup is not about being pessimistic; it’s about being realistic and prepared for unforeseen circumstances. Think of it as an insurance policy that is in place but only required under specific conditions.
Protect Your Business And Career:
For many high-achievers, their professional lives, careers, and businesses are a major consideration. A pre-nuptial agreement can be a lifeline for protecting your hard-earned assets and business ventures. It can clearly outline the separation of business interests, intellectual property rights, and future income streams, preventing potential disputes that could jeopardize your professional endeavors. It’s about preserving your autonomy and ensuring that your business remains intact, even in the face of a marital breakdown.
“A lawyer can help you work through the prenup to include all relevant assets for both people.”
I understand that discussing pre-nuptial agreements is not the sexiest or most exciting part of planning a wedding. However, it’s essential to have those conversations and take proactive steps to protect yourself and your future. A pre-nup provides a roadmap for navigating the complexities of a potential divorce, helping you preserve your financial security, plan for the unexpected, protect your business ventures, and know where you stand in the event of the breakdown of the relationship.
A Wise And Responsible Choice:
Having a pre-nuptial agreement doesn’t mean you lack trust in your partner or believe your marriage is destined to fail. It’s simply a wise and responsible choice to ensure both parties are on the same page and understand the agreed-upon terms of a divorce. A lawyer can help you work through the prenup to include all relevant assets for both people.
So, before you walk down that aisle, consider having an open and honest conversation about a pre-nup. At the very least, use this discussion to explore how you and your partner will handle potential issues in the future.
About the Author:
Mardi Winder-Adams is an Executive and Leadership Coach, Certified Divorce Transition Coach, and a Credentialed Distinguished Mediator in Texas. She has experienced her own divorce, moved to a new country and started her own business, and worked through the challenges of being a caregiver and managing the loss of a spouse.
Handling life transitions and pivots is her specialty! In her professional role as a divorce coach, Mardi has helped hundreds of women before, during, and after divorce to reduce the emotional and financial costs of the process. She is the founder of Positive Communication Systems, LLC.