To See & Be Seen The Realness of Life – Cheri, 70

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This is Cheri Miranne. Cheri is one of our more ‘mature’ Kuel Women and I am thrilled she has shared her wisdom with me and our community. She is an Intuitive Psychic Empath and will be offering Tarot Card readings on Kuel Life. I am pleased to have her participate in Share Your Story.

There is power in story telling. There is power in community. There is power in sharing. The more we know about one another; the more we understand; the more powerful we become.

We invite all of the KuelWomen out there to share their stories with us.

Here is Cheri’s.

KUEL LIFE: What are you pursuing now, after 70, that surprises you or might appear to others as if it’s come out of left field?

CHERI: What strikes me right away at 70 is that I don’t feel “in pursuit” of as much as I feel a desire for more connection. I don’t particularly want a thing; I want the EXPERIENCE. I have a much deeper desire to truly be authentic in my interactions with the world. I love profound contact rather than regular chit chat. Life has become more precious than I realized in my earlier years.  I now want to see and be seen…the realness of being alive.

KUEL LIFE: What’s a typical day like for you?

CHERI: There aren’t many “typical days” that used to be built built around the busy structure of my child rearing and working days. Things just evolve. Much is included in my day to assist my two daughters and five grandchildren in their busy lives. I lost my Mama at 31 and became passionate about the idea of becoming trusted friends with my children and grandchildren when they came along. I have plenty of “me” time which was a luxury I didn’t have in younger years. I write. I study. I contemplate. 

KUEL LIFE: With what do you struggle?

CHERI: I struggle with understanding and appreciating myself, which has probably been a lifelong theme that many women experience. It’s more than appreciating what I do. It’s appreciating the “who” that is doing it. I call my internal critic PAC Man which undoubtedly shows my age.  As I watch my own children become more and more self reliant, there is great pride and loss, as well.  It’s interesting…earlier on you were needed for input on every decision. Now it’s my job to be relevant when asked and keep my lips sealed when not asked. It’s a dance. Sometimes I step on toes.

KUEL LIFE: How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?

CHERI: Ah….motivation.  For me there are two kinds of basic personalities…the doers and the be-ers. There are combinations of both in most of us. I am primarily a be-er. I wait. I wait for the signs that show me when to act and when not to. When I feel the movement toward action, I note if my heart is in it. If it is, I do it, when it FEELS right. Now I am not saying my heart gets excited helping my daughters with loads of laundry so they can pursue their passions. I am no saint.

KUEL LIFE: What advice would you give fellow women about aging.

CHERI: Don’t be afraid of it.  Don’t let the 5x or 10x mirror or 1x, (if you’re lucky) that you use to put on makeup (because you can’t see as well) defeat you. No one your age can see them anyway. Don’t micromanage every smile line or wrinkle. Once when I was in my fifties, I was talking about a facelift. My oldest said “Mama, don’t you want to see that face in the mirror when you are older? I did. That is NOT to say that I don’t get “treatments” and use good skincare to improve nature – but it is not consuming. Vanity can simply be a pleasant connection to yourself. Please don’t end up with “duck lips”. Live outside of your box a little. There’s much to be experienced there.

KUEL LIFE: What does vulnerability mean to you? What has the ability to make you vulnerable?

CHERI: I find that vulnerability can have both positive and negative innuendos. Some famous writers have taken on the challenge of exposing the positive sides of it. I wish to be transparent and vulnerable with those who are close to me – telling them the deep dark secrets. There are also times that I wish to hide my fears. It’s a choice always. 

KUEL LIFE: What are three events that helped to shape your life?

CHERI: The first one was the death of my mother at 31. I am the oldest of seven. When I lost her, my best friend and supporter, I felt abandoned and alone. It took time and reflection to realize that she had given me birth twice…once when I was born and once when she died. I had to recreate myself without her immediate wisdom. I became a different woman.I began the journey of finding myself and my purpose. I made some crazy choices and I’m still here.

Secondly, my children have influenced me tremendously. I have learned how to communicate better, how to love without conditions, and to be loved in that way…how to be a student of life in all of its facets. Now, when they try to hold my arm when I cross the street, I’m like really? “Get off me!” However, when your best friend dies, they are there to hold you up.

The third event was the very recent passing of a man who was 12 years my senior. We had a deep friendship for 32 years. I know I am changing once again. His lessons were of love, compassion, and complete vulnerability. My own brand of connection to myself and others grew from our many discussions of life and what it means. I will continue to grow from this.

KUEL LIFE: Who influenced you the most and why?

CHERI: My Mama influenced me the very most, though there are many others’ wisdom that helped me form my values and personality. Because there were seven children I learned loyalty. We were taught to stick together. That has become the cornerstone of one of my core values. She also taught me to be non-judgemental. That will be a lifelong project. I’m a Virgo.

KUEL LIFE: What is the best advice you’ve been given from another woman?

CHERI: Allow others to love you. If you don’t allow their love, even if you give yours, the circle is incomplete. Don’t mother a man you love.

KUEL LIFE: What woman inspires you and why?

CHERI: I am inspired by women period. They are determined, loving, committed to growth, plus perhaps raising children, nurturing relationships at home and work…the ultimate multi-taskers. I think we are all heroines in our own lives. I think women are powerful forces for good and that our efforts will eventually restore balance to our world.

KUEL LIFE: Are you grown-up?

CHERI: Oh my, not anytime soon.  I’ll be in the ashes when that happens.

KUEL LIFE: What do you do for self-care?

CHERI: I want to tell you that I run 50 miles a week, do Bikram yoga five times a day – but I don’t. I take long baths, meditate/study metaphysical things that interest me, have various body treatments and facials when I can. Then there’s always ID, CNN or Grace and Frankie. I laugh often and drink red wine (probably more than one glass a day).

KUEL LIFE: And last but definitely NOT least: What are the top three things on your bucket list?

CHERI: I would like to hold my first great grandchild. I would like to serve others through my readings. I would like to go to Tahiti, stay in one of those grass huts in the ocean
on somebody else’s credit card and not care if I get too much sun.

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