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What Are Your Plans Now That Your Kids Are Gone?

Kim Muench August 2023

Kim Muench, Becoming Me Thought Leader

“My youngest is leaving for college shortly and I don’t know what I’ll do with myself.”

“I cry when falling asleep at night thinking about our house being so quiet after 25 years of raising three kids. Of course, I’m excited for each of them, and they are doing what they are supposed to be doing, but I never expected to feel at such a loss. Help!” – said a comment from one of my TikTok followers.

“Each time we encountered a problem we were given the opportunity to grow.”

I hear you, and probably could have written this myself with a few modifications. My youngest of five is leaving for college, my oldest is thirty-six. It’s been three plus decades of mostly wonderful moments actively raising kids. Sure, there were some difficult challenges as well, but each time we encountered a problem we were given the opportunity to grow. And this is no different.

My Plans After My Child Leaves For College:

Here’s what I plan to do, maybe it will help you too.

1.Personal Projects:

I am thinking about what I love doing that I haven’t had as much time for over the past several years. For me it’s going to be making a new wreath for the front door, cleaning out some closets (long overdue), continuing to grow my parent coaching business, and maybe even delivering a TEDx talk about the book I published.

2. Renegotiate Parts Of My Marriage:

I also plan to talk with my husband and renegotiate some of the things we’ve always done in our marriage. We’re in a new phase of this relationship as well. Part of this involves nutrition. The older I get, the harder it is to maintain my weight, in part because of my diet. He’s got the same issue. I intend to talk with him about how our cooking and eating needs to improve and working on it together.

“Sitting down with a travel agent is also a fun way to begin to expand your world.”

3. Travel:

Planning some travel. My son will be in Italy next summer, I hope to be able to afford to visit. Maybe for you, like me, this won’t be affordable right away, you might have to save for it. Where have you always wanted to go? Start to research what it would cost and how you can save for the trip. Sitting down with a travel agent is also a fun way to begin to expand your world.

4. Focus On My Mom:

My youngest two being in college, and the others grown and flown gives me the opportunity to focus more on my mom. Her health is still good, but her memory is fading and it’s time to think about moving her to someplace more secure than her home. Cleaning rooms out with her is a necessary step and one I can focus on more now because I’ll have extra time and patience.

Overall, I completely understand your grief, and feel the same in some moments. Investing in yourself by joining a women’s gym, taking a class, starting a book club with a few friends is a great way to keep busy and rediscover yourself. YOU DESERVE IT!

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Kim Muench Becoming Me

About the Author:

Kim Muench (pronounced minch, like pinch with an “m”) is a Jai (rhymes with buy) Institute for Parenting Certified Conscious Parenting Coach who specializes in working with mothers of adolescents (ages 10+). Knowing moms are the emotional barometer in their families, Kim is passionate about educating, supporting and encouraging her clients to raise their children with intention and guidance rather than fear and control. Kim’s three plus decades parenting five children and years of coaching other parents empowers her to lead her clients into healthier, happier, more functional relationships with compassion and without judgment. 

You can find out more about her mission and services at www.reallifeparentguide.com. She is on Facebook at Real Life Parent Guide, Instagram, and on LinkedIn as well.