Superpowers — we all have them. And, if we look closely we have more than one.
But what happens when your superpower isn’t working the way it always has?
I fancy myself a fairly disciplined person. Honestly, tenacity is my jam. Squeaky wheel. Persistent. Applied. All these words bring a smile to my face. So I am not sure what the deal is of late because for the last month, since returning from extensive travel, I find myself with zero discipline.
“I literally ate pizza four nights in a row last week”
Typically an early-to-bed, early-to-rise individual, for the last few weeks I’ve found myself still in bed long past 6am. And don’t get me started on my diet — I’ll start with visions of intermittent fasting but end up with a whopping dollop of heavy cream in my coffee. I literally ate pizza four nights in a row last week when I was left unsupervised when my partner was out of town.
Procrastination Is Powerful:
As a matter of fact, the only thing I’m disciplined at currently is procrastinating — I can put off doing anything until the last minute like it’s an Olympic sport. And while I don’t necessarily think procrastination is inherently evil (I do some of my best work under the gun at the eleventh hour), I know it’s not a particularly healthy permanent state in which to reside.
Even though it’s embarrassing to admit I’ve accomplished very little over the last four weeks, I decided to write about it just in case. Just in case… what? Well, it’s two-fold. First, if anyone else is suffering currently from a severe case of obligation-postponing ennui, know you are not alone. Secondly, I am hoping calling myself out on my self-indulgence shakes me into action.
So why am I so undisciplined at the moment?
They say one of the most common reasons discipline flies out the window is a lack of motivation or a clear sense of purpose. Without a distinct direction or goal, it can be challenging to maintain the motivation and discipline needed to stay on track.
Discipline, A Superpower:
“In my life, discipline has been the star player for my achievements, success, and personal growth”
In my life, discipline has been the star player for my achievements, success, and personal growth. One of the plusses of time on Earth is all the data we get on what works and what doesn’t. The fact that my discipline has flown out the window has me reeling.
If I am perfectly honest, they seem to be right. As someone who has spent the majority of her life with a known sense of purpose, this smushy, not-sure-what-I-want-next-in-life state is super uncomfortable. I mean super uncomfortable. Not sure if any of you can relate, but not knowing what I want is crazy-making. Without a clear purpose, I’m lost and directionless, making it challenging to focus on tasks and work. Which tasks? What work? What’s the new goal?
The other thing I’ve discovered is that without motivation, I struggle to find the energy and enthusiasm to do… well, just about anything. It’s like I’m a GPS with a glitch, constantly recalculating my route and sending me in circles. I thought I knew where I was going, but then I realized I was just following some random map. Now I’m stuck in this limbo where I don’t know what I want or where I’m headed. Maybe I should try meditating, or maybe I should just embrace my inner wanderer and become a nomad, traveling the world with nothing but a backpack and a sense of adventure. After all, who needs direction when you’ve got a good pair of hiking boots and a passport full of stamps? Or maybe I should just continue to binge-watch old episodes of the television legal drama Suits until I find my next step.
Reclaiming My Superpower:
“It’s like I’m stuck in a never-ending game of “Choose Your Own Adventure””
And since flying or shooting lasers from my eyes are already taken, I am going to have to figure out how to reclaim my discipline superpower. Yes, right this second, I struggle with waking up at the crack of dawn, hitting the gym, and NOT watching that not-really-so-binge-worthy TV show.
It’s like I’m stuck in a never-ending game of “Choose Your Own Adventure,” and I can’t decide which path to take. At this point, I’m contemplating a Magic 8-Ball to make all my decisions for me. But for now, Amazon Prime will suffice as my distraction. After all, it takes an enormous amount of discipline to watch all nine seasons of a somewhat-cookie-cutter, primetime soap in just a few short weeks.