Kim Muench, Becoming Me Thought Leader
I want to know what is going on in my young adult child’s life.
But I often don’t agree, or wish better choices were being made…how do I handle that?
Resentment In Adulthood:
Oh, so many parents I talk with share some version of this question. And the answer seems simple, yet, it’s not always easy to hear.
“I had to make some choices of my own in order to learn some important life lessons.”
Take a moment to think back to when you were (blank) years old. Did you do everything your parents wanted or asked of you? If you did, my guess is you’ve wrestled with some resentment in adulthood.
Are you like me? Despite what my parents thought, and taught me as their values, I had to make some (unwise, at times unhealthy) choices of my own in order to learn some important life lessons. Such as, our choices have consequences.
It is in our mistakes, and by working through their natural consequences, we have the opportunity to build character, grit, and resilience. I am who I am today in large part because of making the choice to become a single mom at the age of eighteen. Something my parents never wanted for me and, though they’ve always loved their first grandson, wished I’d waited to do.
“I run into a lot of parents who feel while they are providing for their young adult, they are owed an explanation.”
Providing For Your Young Adult:
The older our kids get, the less involved we must become. And the less say we have in the life they are creating. This includes lifestyle choices, finances, and day-to-day tasks (like laundry). Whether or not you choose to fund these choices is also under your control.
I run into a lot of parents who feel while they are providing for their young adult, they are owed an explanation and/or location services. As a mom of five kids 17-35 years of age, I agree with this to a point. I also believe as parents at this stage, we need to listen to understand where they are coming from on the choices they are making.
In short, the healthier your relationship is with your son or daughter the more information you will receive. And the more potential for productive conversation. Especially if you know how to receive the information in a calm, open-minded way.
About the Author:
Kim Muench (pronounced minch, like pinch with an “m”) is a Jai (rhymes with buy) Institute for Parenting Certified Conscious Parenting Coach who specializes in working with mothers of adolescents (ages 10+). Knowing moms are the emotional barometer in their families, Kim is passionate about educating, supporting and encouraging her clients to raise their children with intention and guidance rather than fear and control. Kim’s three plus decades parenting five children and years of coaching other parents empowers her to lead her clients into healthier, happier, more functional relationships with compassion and without judgment.