Brain Health Expert: Patricia Faust
Hard to believe that some of my most treasured life lessons have come to me through my active grand parenting.
This past week my granddaughter had her 18th birthday! It is inconceivable to me that she is 18. I was in the delivery room when she was born. Childbirth is miraculous and when you are the observer you fully appreciate the moment when this new life widens your sphere of ultimate love.
Focus In My Life:
Her parents divorced by the time she was one. I was already deeply involved in her care, but the divorce sealed the fact that I too, would be a primary caregiver. From that time on, Ellah was a focus in my life.
My son was and still is a terrific dad. He had his own personal problems that he was dealing with but his love for his daughter was unshakeable. However, that introduced her to parental depression and sadness. Since I understood what was happening with my son, I doubled down on the attention and love I gave her.
She needed the stability of me to show her the way to happiness, understand and comfort her when life interfered with her dad’s mental health, and the encouragement that she was worthy of all the love she received.
“Since I understood what was happening with my son, I doubled down on the attention and love I gave her.”
Life Lessons From The Early Years:
Those early years were amazing. I wasn’t the parent, so I didn’t have to work on logistics like preschool, transferring her between families and doctor appointments. We baked cookies, played games, went to the park, a lot! When she was five, she signed up for t-ball. What a blast that was. She fell in love with baseball/softball.
For the next ten years, I was at every practice and ball game. When you have a child playing sports, the parents of the players become your social group. Here I was, a grandparent at all the practices and games. It didn’t take long for thise parents to see past my age. My son was her biggest cheerleader. He loved playing sports, and he especially was happy that Ellah loved it too. She was a pitcher on a fastpitch select softball team.
So, he made sure she had pitching lessons and extra batting practice. I look back and chuckle because I was her catcher here at the house. Age for me didn’t make any difference at that time. I was 65 years old and catching for my granddaughter, until she became too fast for me.
The Rest Was History:
Ellah’s start at school was unremarkable. But by the time she was in the third grade she was failing. Her mom didn’t know how to help her, and her dad was working all the time. She came to our house after school until her mom could pick her up.
When I found out that she was having trouble, I suggested that she come to our house every day and I would tutor her and make sure she got all her homework done. Ellah turned out to be very smart. It only took a couple of years of closely watching her do her homework when I realized she understood her assignments far faster than I could relearn them!
The rest was history. She graduated from high school as a member of the National Honor Society, was the recipient of a few scholarships, and admitted to the college of her dreams.
“The rest was history.“
The Slap In The Face Life Lesson:
Her graduation was the first time that my tears started flowing. It was a benchmark day when I realized that she was going to be on her own. All the years of softball games, art shows, recitals, club meetings, sleep overs at our house were drawing to a close. On her 18th birthday I was a teary mess. She is getting ready to go away to school and she is an adult. I wish I could put time in a bottle.
These years, my years, seem like a blink in time. Therefore, I needed to get a better understanding of the perception of time. “Time perception is a fundamental element of human awareness. Our consciousness, our ability to perceive the world around us and, ultimately, our very sense of self, are shaped upon our perception of time in a loop connecting memories of the past, present sensations, and expectations about the future.”
The Life Lesson To Feel The Time:
I was 55 when Ellah was born. That is an age of transition physically, emotionally, and cognitively. However, I couldn’t dwell on all the challenges the fifties can bring. Ellah needed me and that kept me young in spirit. During my sixties I was actively involved in Ellah’s life as she was in mine.
“The energy of young students was so much lighter than the energy of friends my age.”
There was no time to get caught up in my chronological age. I discovered while I was in grad school I felt a lot younger. The energy of young students was so much lighter than the energy of friends my age. Young energy is full of hope. That is what I got to experience throughout the years with Ellah. I moved from my fifties to my seventies since Ellah was born. My perception of this time isn’t 18 years but rather disbelief it was 18 years.
My transition into my seventies is happening. Now it will be my responsibility to hold on to that youthful spirit. Ellah taught me pickleball. Now I must practice a lot to give her a good game.
Transitions are not about chronological age. They are about having a youthful spirit.
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About the Author:
Patricia Faust is a gerontologist specializing in the issues of brain aging, brain health, brain function and dementia. She has a Masters in Gerontological Studies degree from Miami University in Oxford Ohio. Patricia is certified as a brain health coach and received a certification in Neuroscience and Wellness through Dr. Sarah McKay and the Neuroscience Academy. My Boomer Brain, founded in 2015, is the vehicle that Patricia utilizes to teach, coach and consult about brain aging, brain health and brain function. Her newsletter, My Boomer Brain, has international readers from South Africa, Australia, throughout Europe and Canada. She has also been a frequent guest on Medicare Moment on WMKV and Cincy Lifestyles on WCPO.
