Divorce and Transitions: Mardi Winder-Adams
As a woman who has gone through a divorce and as a divorce coach, I know the end of a marriage can feel like an endpoint in life.
But it is really just the beginning of a new chapter. And, after all the paperwork involved in the legal process, the last thing you may want to hear is that there is still more work to do.Â
Important Post-Divorce Steps:
In this article, I want to share some practical steps you can take to get your life back in order and ensure that you’re legally and financially protected as you move forward and past the divorce. Checking in on these issues as soon as possible ensures you are prepared if the unexpected occurs.
1. Change Your Will:
One of the first things to do after a divorce is to review your will. It might seem a bit morbid, but your will is crucial to ensuring your assets go to the right people. If your divorce decree didn’t automatically nullify your will—or if it did but left some ambiguities—you need to update it. Start by contacting your attorney to understand your current situation in your jurisdiction and make the necessary changes. It’s essential that your new will reflects your current wishes and protects your future.
” It’s essential that your new will reflects your current wishes and protects your future.”
When updating your will, consider who you trust most. Maybe you’re leaning towards family members or even a close friend. You may want to talk to them before making a final decision. Ensure you also update related documents like powers of attorney and healthcare directives. These steps can give you peace of mind and make the transition smoother for your loved ones.
2. Address Your Vehicle and Home Insurance Policies:
Divorce doesn’t just change your relationships; it also affects your financial arrangements. One area that’s often overlooked is your auto insurance. If you and your ex-spouse share a policy, you must update it. Contact your insurance provider and let them know about your change in circumstances. You might have to switch to an individual policy, which can sometimes alter your premium rates.
Also, double-check that your name, address, and other personal details are current on the policy. It’s a small step that can prevent many headaches later if you ever need to file a claim. And while you’re at it, consider shopping around for new quotes. You might find that a fresh policy is more cost-effective now that your risk profile has changed.
If you are keeping the home, verify the home insurance policy is now in your name. Unfortunately, leaving your ex-spouse’s name on the policy can create problems should you ever make a claim.
3. Update Beneficiary Designations:
Divorce can dramatically shift who you’d like to benefit from your financial and insurance assets. Life insurance policies, retirement accounts, and even bank accounts often have beneficiary designations that automatically pass on your assets upon death. Reviewing these documents and updating them to reflect your current wishes is a good idea.
Sometimes, divorce decrees require these changes automatically, but you shouldn’t rely solely on that. Take the time to go through each policy and account and verify that the changes have been entered. This way, you’re not caught off guard by outdated information that might benefit someone you no longer intend to support financially. This step is crucial if you have children, as it ensures that the appropriate guardians and beneficiaries will have access to funds without the need to wait through a lengthy probate process.
4. Revise Your Estate Planning Documents:
Beyond your will, your estate planning might include trusts, powers of attorney, or healthcare proxies. These documents protect you and your loved ones in unforeseen circumstances. Divorce often necessitates a complete overhaul of your estate plans. If you had joint trusts or designated your ex-spouse as a decision-maker, it’s time to change that.
Working with a professional estate planner can help you craft documents that accurately reflect your wishes. These professionals offer advice on everything from minimizing taxes to safeguarding your assets against potential future disputes. This proactive step is crucial in ensuring your estate is handled according to your wishes, not outdated plans.
5. Reassess Your Financial Picture and Credit:
Divorce can impact your finances, and getting a clear picture of where you stand is vital. Start by creating a comprehensive list of all your assets, liabilities, income, and expenses after the divorce is finalized. Understanding your financial situation will help you make informed decisions about budgeting, saving, and investing in your future.
It might also be wise to check your credit report. Divorce can sometimes lead to joint debts and other financial entanglements that might affect your credit score. If you notice any discrepancies or issues, immediately address them. Whether it’s separating joint accounts, closing credit cards, or simply keeping a closer eye on your spending, this step is essential for building a secure financial future.
6. Reevaluate Your Health and Life Insurance Policies:
Just as your auto and estate planning documents need updating, so do your health and life insurance policies. After a divorce, your needs change—perhaps you’re no longer eligible for certain spousal benefits, or you might require different coverage options. Reviewing these policies to ensure you have the appropriate coverage for your new circumstances is important.
7. Take Care of Yourself:
With all the paperwork and administrative tasks, it is important to keep a focus on your physical and mental health. Divorce is a significant life transition that can take a toll on your well-being. If you are struggling with emotional issues that are impacting your personal or professional life, consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in life transitions. Sometimes, having an impartial guide to help you process your feelings post-divorce can be as important as taking care of your legal and financial affairs.
“Sometimes, having an impartial guide to help you process your feelings post-divorce can be as important as taking care of your legal and financial affairs.”
Self-care might also mean establishing a new routine, picking up hobbies you may have neglected, or even setting aside quiet moments to reflect and recharge. It’s a reminder that while the legal and financial steps are crucial, so is your overall well-being. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty glass, and it is essential to keep your glass full as you transition from married to single life.
A Challenging Experience:
Divorce is a challenging experience for most women, but it can also be a catalyst for growth and change. By taking these steps—updating your will, revising your vehicle insurance, adjusting beneficiary designations, overhauling your estate planning, reassessing your finances, and reevaluating your insurance policies—you’re not just managing a transition but actively rebuilding a life that reflects who you are now.
Just take one step at a time. Most of these issues will only require a phone call or perhaps a consultation, and they won’t take a lot of your time. The more significant matters, such as the estate planning review, may require additional time, discussion, and planning, but getting started is always the first step.
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About the Author:
Mardi Winder-Adams is an Executive and Leadership Coach, Certified Divorce Transition Coach, and a Credentialed Distinguished Mediator in Texas. She has experienced her own divorce, moved to a new country and started her own business, and worked through the challenges of being a caregiver and managing the loss of a spouse.
Handling life transitions and pivots is her specialty! In her professional role as a divorce coach, Mardi has helped hundreds of women before, during, and after divorce to reduce the emotional and financial costs of the process. She is the founder of Positive Communication Systems, LLC.