Divorce and Transitions: Mardi Winder-Adams
Newly single women sometimes struggle during the holiday season. And, there are strategies to employ to navigate this season.
For any newly single woman, the holiday season brings a unique mix of challenges. What was once a time of tradition, family, and togetherness can feel intimidating, especially if this is the first year facing it alone. Whether you’re going through a divorce or coping with the loss of a spouse, this season can highlight feelings of loneliness, vulnerability, and sadness. But it can also become a powerful opportunity for growth, self-reflection, and personal resilience.
First and foremost, accept that these holidays, no matter what or how you celebrate, will be different. Stop comparing to the past and instead look at the opportunities for this season. By staying present and not falling into the trap of seeking all the things you don’t have, you are open to finding possibilities for new ways to experience the season.Â
“Stop comparing to the past and instead look at the opportunities for this season.”
By utilizing a few of the strategies below, you can embrace this season in a way that nurtures your spirit, honors your needs, and allows you to find moments of peace and joy.
6 Strategies For Newly Single Women During The Holidays:
1. Allow Yourself to Feel Whatever Comes Up:
The holidays stir up powerful emotions. It’s normal to feel a blend of sadness, anger, nostalgia, and even resentment. You might find yourself caught off guard by memories or overcome with grief. All of this is okay. Instead of pushing those feelings down or pretending they don’t exist, allow yourself to experience them fully. Write in a journal, take a quiet walk to process your thoughts, or speak to a friend who will listen without judgment.
There’s strength in honoring what you feel without letting it define your entire holiday experience. Giving space to these emotions can make them easier to handle, and with each passing day, you may feel a little lighter.
2. Set Boundaries and Plan Around Your Own Comfort:
Sometimes, well-meaning people want to include us in their holiday plans without realizing that it can feel overwhelming. If you’re invited to gatherings and celebrations, remember that saying no is perfectly okay. You have permission to protect your mental and emotional energy by choosing events and activities that genuinely bring you comfort and passing on those that don’t.
If you do want to attend, let friends or family know what you’re comfortable with. Maybe you need a quick way to leave if things get too intense, or perhaps you’d like to bring a friend along for support. Setting these boundaries helps you feel more in control and ensures that any social time you engage in doesn’t drain you
3. Create New Traditions That Feel Right for You:
When life shifts dramatically, holding onto old traditions may feel painful or hollow. Newly single women, this year is an opportunity to build something that’s just for you. Think about small ways to celebrate the holidays that feel fulfilling, even if they’re entirely different from what you used to do. You might take a solo trip, watch a favorite holiday movie while baking cookies, or spend an afternoon volunteering.
By creating new traditions, you’re not erasing what came before. You’re simply adding new dimensions to your life, which can bring comfort and belonging, even if it’s just to yourself.
4. Reach Out and Let People Know You Need Connection:
While some people find comfort in quiet time alone, others find it difficult. If you’re someone who needs connection, consider reaching out to friends, family, or support groups. Sometimes, letting people know you’re available for a chat or that you’d like company can make all the difference. Close friends and family are often eager to support you but may hesitate to reach out if they are unsure of your needs.
” If you’re someone who needs connection, consider reaching out to friends, family, or support groups.”
Alternatively, look for community events where you can connect with others going through similar experiences. Some cities host gatherings for those spending the holidays alone, or you may find local support groups where others understand exactly what you’re going through.
5. Practice Kindness Toward Yourself:
We often talk about kindness towards others, but especially this season, remember to extend that kindness toward yourself. The holidays can be stressful, and self-compassion is essential. If you’re feeling low, taking time to rest is often the best thing to do. If you miss someone, letting that sadness wash over you is perfectly acceptable. And if you decide to splurge on a special treat for yourself, there’s nothing selfish about that.
Sometimes, little acts of kindness toward yourself—whether allowing for a slower start to your day or treating yourself to a holiday gift—can be an anchor that keeps you grounded during this season.
6. Honor Your Loved Ones or Past Relationships in a Way That Brings Peace:
If you’re mourning the loss of a loved one, setting aside time to honor their memory can bring comfort. You might light a candle in their memory, donate to a cause they cared about, or carry on one of their favorite traditions. Doing this doesn’t mean you’re living in the past; rather, it’s a way to keep their presence alive in your heart as you move forward.
For those coming out of a divorce, it might be a time to reflect on what the relationship taught you, both the good and the hard lessons. Take this time to honor your growth and acknowledge how far you’ve come.
It’s easy to feel that the way you’re feeling now is permanent, especially when emotions are intense. But as each holiday season passes, so will the challenges of this time of the year. The first holiday season on your own is often the hardest, but with each year, you’ll likely find new strengths, insights, and moments of joy.
Plan to lean into this holiday with a compassionate view of yourself. You’re not alone in this, and there’s a community of others who understand what you’re going through. Trust in your resilience, reach out when needed, and allow yourself to celebrate the big and little things throughout the season.
Did you enjoy this article? Become a Kuel Life Member today to support our Community. Sign-up for our Sunday newsletter and get your content delivered straight to your inbox.
About the Author:
Mardi Winder-Adams is an Executive and Leadership Coach, Certified Divorce Transition Coach, and a Credentialed Distinguished Mediator in Texas. She has experienced her own divorce, moved to a new country and started her own business, and worked through the challenges of being a caregiver and managing the loss of a spouse.
Handling life transitions and pivots is her specialty! In her professional role as a divorce coach, Mardi has helped hundreds of women before, during, and after divorce to reduce the emotional and financial costs of the process. She is the founder of Positive Communication Systems, LLC.
