Guest Blogger and Coach: Carin Aichele
Many of us today are riddled with recurring and ofttimes incessant thoughts that we feel control us. We feel afraid, we feel incapable of making a calm decision, we feel anxious and out of control.
Faced with these rabid thoughts, we frequently seek relief. Now, without judgment, let’s admit to our relief mechanisms.
To Find Relief We:
- Drink – to take the edge off
- Take pharmaceuticals – to just get through it
- Have ungratifying sex – to feel wanted and attractive
- Use marijuana – to feel chill…and hey, it’s legal
- “Over” anything – over-eat, over-sleep, over-exercise, over-achieve
- Meditate – to quiet the beast
- Project – blame someone or something else
“we are attempting to counter force (the force of our thoughts) with force.”
I know there are countless more strategies; which is your favorite? (And btw, I use them too)
What’s common in these most familiar mechanisms is that we are attempting to counter force (the force of our thoughts) with force. This is essentially war. We levy a war upon and within ourselves.
David Hawkins teaches in Power vs. Force:
“Force always moves against something, whereas power does not move against anything. Force is incomplete and therefore has to constantly be fed energy. Power is total and complete in itself and requires nothing from outside itself. It makes no demands; it has no needs. Because force has an insatiable appetite, it constantly consumes. Power, in contrast, energizes, gives forth, supplies and supports. Power gives life and energy. Force takes these away. We notice that power is associated with compassion and makes us feel positively about ourselves. Force is associated with judgment and makes us feel badly about ourselves.”
Give Me Power Or Give Me Death:
“With greater understanding of the essences that motivate and drive us, we are better-equipped to manage our thoughts”
I believe that we can harness true power when we can manage our thoughts before they turn into negative feelings which in turn lead to negative behaviors. If you’re anything like me, your incessant thoughts include judgment and make you feel bad about yourself in some way. It’s probable that once feeling bad about oneself takes hold, we take the next inevitable step…we DO something in total alignment with our bad feeling.
It’s a classic case of THINK – FEEL – DO. But when we allow it to go down a bad path, we feel like crap and we act or do without intention and most often end up sabotaging ourselves and…probably hurting someone else too.
In my work as an Empowerment Coach, I teach how to harness our intentions by getting down to the essence of what’s going on. Most of who we are and what we do boils down to some desire; be it a feeling, an experience or a thing we desire. With greater understanding of the essences that motivate and drive us (usually inspired by our soul), we are better-equipped to manage our thoughts, recognize and honor our feelings and direct our actions toward the experiences that we desire. Now that is true power!
Mind Hacks:
The two mind hacks I suggest to create a conscious pause between a recurring thought and the cycle of it becoming a crummy feeling leading to an action that I will regret are BYPASS and ACCEPTANCE. They are both equally efficacious. I suggest trying them both and discovering which is easiest for you.
BYPASS:
This one has so many interpretations! What popped into your head first? The image of a freeway bypass – avoiding the jam? Heart surgery – where they just bypass that corroded old blocked artery…somewhat like our rotten sticky thoughts. One dictionary definition of bypass is: ‘to neglect to consult or to ignore the decision or opinion of‘. This is the way I use bypass. Just freakin’ ignore the thought. You can literally pretend it doesn’t exist. You can look beyond it and even speak to it saying: “look, I know you want my attention and I know you think you merit attention and I choose to blow you off, to let you go, to give you no notice nor resistance. So bugger off!” Let the thought know that this is not one that you choose to attach to. You choose to bypass it and focus your vital power on things that are truly aligned with your intention and essence.
ACCEPTANCE:
What if a thought was “just a thought”? According to the research of Dr. Fred Luskin of Stanford University, a human being has approximately 60,000 thoughts per day—and 90% of these are repetitive! At 60,000 per day, we’re at risk of exhaustion trying to fight the negative messaging. When you are at your wits end and cannot rationalize away a negative repetitive thought, simply surrender. Waive the white flag and say: “Ok, I give up. I accept that you want my attention. I accept that you have corralled my brain and want me to respond with force and I choose to simply accept. I choose to do nothing. In fact, I choose to let you fully have your expression, bring it, think it, think it, think it!” You are allowing (accepting) the energy and letting it express until it dissipates.
This is much like our resistance to sad feelings and then when we finally open the flood gate, we cry until suddenly we find ourselves laughing. We feel relief. This relief comes from giving ourselves back the energy that we were using to resist. Many spiritual teachings suggest that we are humans working out our spiritual surrender here on earth. I believe that when we accept and thus cease from resisting; through our surrender we are somehow spiritually supported and provided with the creative power to go forward.
Use The Tools:
Using the tools of Bypass and Acceptance, we have access to our vital power, we gain clarity and creativity and we become empowered to go forward in our lives; aligned with our intention and essence. We can feel and do with awareness instead of reacting from a place of self-judgment. Now that sounds exciting to me!
This quote from Eckhart Tolle sums it up “Accept–then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it”
Or how I like to say it:
“Accept, then your thoughts will know you got boundaries like a boss!”
Namasté
About the Author:
Carin Aichele is THE CHANGE AGENT. She is a personal and professional empowerment coach and inspirational speaker. Carin is masterful at supporting you in achieving any goal. Her auxiliary skills include mindfulness/consciousness coaching, spiritual direction and shamanic practitioner services. Her personal joys include her golden retriever pup, outdoor activity, travel, photography and writing. She is frequently found traveling solo throughout the USA and Canada in her RV gathering fodder for her book: The Courageous Woman’s Journey ~ Musings on Wandering with Curiosity and Wonder. She be found on her website Imagine Create Be. Follow Carin on Facebook and Instagram.
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