Transitions Kuel Category Expert: Nancy Tepper
Life will always have bumps and curves along the way.
I often tell my friends and clients that it would be so nice if life could unfold in a perfectly straight line, but that is just not reality. For some of us, navigating times of difficulty can be especially hard and overwhelming. So often, we end up feeling uncomfortable until the situation resolves itself, or we become adjusted to it. This most likely happens because we have not effectively developed the coping skills, grit, and resilience that can help us form and manage our responses to challenging situations. Ultimately, poor coping skills take a toll on us when we face difficult situations – and the ‘catastrophizing’ we engage in undoubtedly plays a detrimental role on our self-esteem, self-worth, and how we look at life in general.
Life Serves Up Lemons
“It is a positive mindset that brings you back to the path.”
Yes, life will give us lemons. But having a positive mindset can really be the key to handling adversity. Imagine you are struggling against a difficult issue in life. This could be the pandemic, sickness, loss of a job, a divorce, or anything that is disrupting your current state of normalcy. In any scenario, you have stress, anxiety, and worry that plagues you as you adjust to what is happening. Like we said, life simply doesn’t always run in a straight line. It is a positive mindset that brings you back to the path.
Which One Are You?
“The person who has a will to be positive and strong will suffer less, find it easier adjusting to adversity, and ultimately find greater happiness in their life.”
To illustrate this, let’s imagine we have two people. Both are exhausted, but have to go to an event after work that’s far from home and that will end late. Let’s assume that both people work full time, have challenging jobs, and don’t have a lot of free time. Person A decides that the evening will be fun and looks forward to meeting new people, eating good food, and, despite being tired, expects the night to be enjoyable. Person B goes to the same event but is dreading it, putting them in a bad mood and making them unhappy for the duration of the night. Both people are at the very same event yet have totally different experiences.
The person who is positive, Person A, brings in good energy and therefore finds something positive in their experience. Person B, however, even before attending the evening, becomes mired in negativity. Accordingly, the evening is very unpleasant. This negative mindset tends to affect everyone that this person comes in contact with, as negative energy travels unfortunately quickly. Being positive will yield a much more preferable scenario – no matter what the trigger is. The person who has a will to be positive and strong will suffer less, find it easier adjusting to adversity, and ultimately find greater happiness in their life.
About the Author:
Nancy Tepper is a 54 year- old mother of three living in New York City and having fun in this next chapter. She loves tennis, yoga, and is an avid reader. Nancy loves spending time with family and friends and loves to help people. She is currently a member of the Board and Executive Director of Stand Up! Girls which is a non-profit offering stand-up comedy classes to under-served girls in the five boroughs of New York City. Nancy is also a co-founder of MT Nesters podcast which offers valuable advice and inspiration to women who are empty nested and trying to pivot. Lastly, Nancy is a certified Life Coach and works with people who want to transition, or individuals who want to make positive changes in their lives