Midlife & Beyond Dating: Illa Lynn
What is about midlife romance?
It is commonly believed by self-proclaimed love experts that looking for RED FLAGS can accurately predict someone’s character and highlight the possibility of heartbreak down the road.
Catching The Green Flags: 5 Positive Signs To Look For In Midlife Romance:
Most likely, you too have been focusing on what to avoid rather than focusing on what you want. Perhaps this caused some unnecessary anxiety and hypervigilance for you, making falling in love a chore instead of a joyful experience.
Allow me to expand on this.
Although I have been happily married for almost two decades, I live vicariously through my amazing clients and I am aware of all the challenges you are facing out there. My mission for that reason continues to be to simplify this experience for you by helping you shift your perception on dating by using a strategy that goes against conventional advice on the internet and the notorious do’s and don’ts of modern dating.
“The reason is simple: what you focus on expands. It’s a universal law.”
My sincere advice is not to focus on catching the red flags, but rather choose to catch the green ones instead.
You might be wondering why? The reason is simple: what you focus on expands. It’s a universal law. Moreover, it is also backed by neuroscience, if you are like me and like scientific proof behind human behavior. As a result, it makes sense that catching more green rather than red flags will improve your dating experience and bring you closer to your midlife romance.
In order to help you in your search, here are five green flags you should look for in someone – and what you can do to demonstrate yours as well.
1. Consistent & Transparent Communication:
When someone has the ability to communicate effectively that is a major green flag. People who are not shy or timid to share their authentic thoughts, feelings, and intentions build trust easier and are a lot more fun to be around. Trust is the foundation of any healthy midlife romance, and a fundamental pillar of relationship success long-term.
- Notice if your partner checks in regularly, discusses future plans openly, and addresses conflicts with honesty and respect.
- Encourage open dialogue by sharing your own thoughts and feelings, and appreciate their transparency and consistency.
2. Mutual Respect And Appreciation:
A relationship built on mutual respect and appreciation thrives only when both partners value each other’s opinions, visions, needs, and boundaries. It creates a nurturing and supportive environment for both to enjoy. It also lays the foundation for trust to grow and expand on a deep emotional, intellectual and spiritual level. It’s a breeding ground for midlife romance.
- Look for a partner who listens actively, values your input, respects your boundaries, and genuinely expresses gratitude for your presence in their lives.
- Show appreciation for your partner’s actions and respect their boundaries, fostering a reciprocal environment of mutual respect. Through these micro gestures, you will amplify your connection, leading you to long-term happiness and fulfillment.
“The ability to find someone who shares your future vision can lead to a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship.”
3. Shared Values And Goals:
While opposites attract, sharing values and life goals is essential for long-term compatibility. The ability to find someone who shares your future vision can lead to a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship.
- Examine your partner’s long-term plans and interests, and look for common values and objectives that align with yours.Â
- Engage in open conversations about your values and future goals so that you can ensure alignment and support one another’s goals.
4. Emotional Availability And Stability:
Healthy relationships require emotional availability and stability. A partner who shows emotional intelligence (EQ) will also understand yours. When both individuals can openly express their emotions and provide support to one another, it creates a deeper connection. This in return fosters a sense of security and understanding within the relationship. Above all else, this emotional availability allows for greater intimacy and strengthens partnerships – encouraging a healthy midlife romance.
- Observe if your partner expresses their feelings openly, handles stress and challenges with composure, and supports your emotional needs without judgment or criticism..
- Share your own emotions honestly and appreciate your partner for holding a space for you to be expressive and share what is on your heart.
“Look for signs that your partner is willing to work on themselves.”
5. A Growth-Oriented Mindset:
A mindset of personal and mutual growth can greatly amplify your success, especially if that is one of your values. Growth-oriented mindsets indicate a willingness to learn, adapt, and improve together, which makes the ups and downs in life and relationships easier to navigate.
- Look for signs that your partner is willing to work on themselves. You can assess that by asking clarifying open-ended questions. Seek to identify if they can embrace challenges, experiences, and have a capacity to support your personal growth and goals.
- Encourage each other’s personal growth by exploring engaging activities together, attending events, masterminds and other venues to support each other’s individual goals and personal development.
My mentor once shared with me that when we do not create, we disintegrate, so with that in mind, you want to be with someone who is willing and ready to create with you.
Keep Green Flags In Mind In Midlife Romance:
Keep these green flags in mind and trust that your intuition and wisdom make you an excellent judge of character. Hypervigilance around someone’s red flag impairs your ability to let your hair down and enjoy falling in love without barrier.
You deserve a midlife romance that uplifts and supports you, celebrating your wonderful personality and zeal for life. Embrace the journey with an open heart and confidence that the right partner will recognize and cherish your green flags, and that you will do the same.
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About the Author:
Illa Lynn is a former corporate health care leader turned Life Coach who specializes in Relationship Coaching for women. In addition to her ten years of academic and professional training, she specializes in dating after 40. Specifically dating after divorce, or toxic love. Using her psychology background and intuitive nature, Illa helps women open up to love again. In three steps, Illa guides women to create lasting, authentic relationships founded on transparency, respect, and trust. Follow Illa on LinkedIN for more tips and tricks on dating.
