Midlife Transition: How To Be Bold, Embrace Change, And Reclaim Your Identity

It’s My Time Now: Kavita Ahuja

Do you know if you are going through a midlife transition in your career or life? It’s a subject that has intrigued me for years, not only because I’ve gone through it myself, but also because I’ve seen it happen repeatedly with the women I work with.

One of the best definitions I have found of transition is from one of my teachers, Linda Rossetti, who defines transition as a “process that requires us to re-examine our assumptions about identity, capacity, and values. It requires a choice, an informed choice. Transition is a normal stage of adult growth and development.” 

Major Midlife Transitions:

We can have major transitions in life – such as I did, when I left my 25-year corporate pharmaceutical career – or minor transitions – everyday small decisions which can ultimately affect the entire course of our lives. 

I have discovered from my own experience and from countless other women, that we face unique challenges in our midlife transition. Typically, high achieving midlife women are educated, have held progressively senior roles, and often manage households, children and empty nesting, partners, aging parents, and demanding social calendars all at once. Nine times out of 10 there is little time left to care for ourselves. 

“I have discovered from my own experience and from countless other women, that we face unique challenges in our midlife transition.“

There comes a time in a woman’s life, particularly in midlife, when we begin to question: 

• “What am I doing?”
• “Is what I’m doing making me happy?”
• “Who am I really?”
• “Who do I really want to be?” 

These questions are often triggered by a major life event – a job loss, divorce, health scare, or the onset of menopause. Events like these force us to look at ourselves and ask: Am I living a life that makes sense for me?

Triggering Events During Your Midlife Transition:

There may be triggering events, indeed, but there could also instead be a slow and gradual realization that – things are not quite right. It’s a feeling, and as I often refer to it – an inner voice that is calling for attention. 

We can ignore these signals or triggers and carry on. Many do. But to what detriment?

I’m here to tell you, it’s okay to take a break. It’s okay to pause and figure out what really matters to you, without guilt or fear. Your life is waiting for you to take charge. So, what are you waiting for?

As a society it is frowned upon to take a pause. To take time to re-evaluate our situation and to dig deep to find the answers. I suggest to you that this shows immense strength. 

If what you are doing right now is not making you happy – WHY ARE YOU DOING IT?

If what you are doing right is not fulfilling you – WHAT WILL MAKE YOU FULFILLED?

Reason Why Fear Triggers:

The reason most people do not act upon these triggers is because of fear. Fear of judgment – what will people say if I take time for myself? Or – what will they say if I leave my job? Fear of failure –  what if I fail? What will happen then? Fear of success – what will happen if I actually succeed? 

“The reason most people do not act upon these triggers is because of fear.”

As women we’ve been conditioned to play certain roles – wife, mother, daughter, sister, employee, caregiver … We lose sight of the role we really want to play: Being the star of our own show – our own life.

I invite you to take that pause – without guilt, without fear, and without apology. Take the pause to understand who you really are, what you want, and how to get there. Your whole life is waiting for you to find the answers.

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