Guest Blogger: Sixty And The City
Truth is always stranger than fiction. For those not familiar with the story of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, briefly Dr Jekyll is the nice guy who turns into Mr Hyde a lunatic after he drinks a magic potion.
Ok, sometimes you think that you are meeting one guy and someone so entirely different shows up and no, he probably hasn’t drunk some magic potion but something is definitely not right and who stole the real guy?
Case Study One:
I was “talking” on line to this wonderfully clever, smart, erudite man. Funny as hell and I couldn’t wait to meet him. I knew that he was no looker; but smart and can make me laugh is so much more important. Unless of course, the guy really does look and act like a gargoyle. Richard and I made a Sunday brunch date at a great place in Morningside. I put on only three outfits because brunch doesn’t involve all the insane machinations and outfit changes as drinks and/or dinner. Don’t ask me why, it just is.
I walked into Community and I didn’t see Richard; but hell, it’s a crowded place. Then I see this little decrepit husk of a man waving to me. OK, I started to panic but talked myself off the ledge by reminding myself that looks aren’t everything. This guy was the real deal or so I thought. Expecting to be greeted with a smile and a hug, I barely got a hello. Of course, I was my usual friendly, ebullient self. Maybe I scared him? I took it on the down low.
What I was really thinking was had I landed in an alternative universe; who in the hell had I been communicating with; and where the hell was he? Basically, I can talk to anyone and can be very charming. I elicited no response from Richard. No joke. I thought I needed to call the paramedics as he was without expression and barely looked like he was breathing. Geez, maybe he was having a TIA. He just sat there and for once, I was stunned and fell silent.
Had Richard been replaced by his miserable twin or did he not take his meds that day? Finally, he started to talk but it was in this monotone voice about the table and the menu. KILL ME NOW. Needless to say, this was one of the fastest brunches I have ever been to. IT WAS AWFUL. I tried, really tried to find the guy to whom I had been speaking but alas, he was gone or never existed. WTH?
Case Study Two:
Spoke briefly to Jimmy who lives in Stamford. Why I mention Stamford is that’s all I remembered about him after I hung up the phone. NOT A GOOD SIGN. I’m trying to be less critical and more open minded so I pushed aside what I was feeling. STUPID, but whatever. He somehow convinced me that we’d have a great time and I should meet him at the Algonquin. Sunday came and I saw that it had snowed. YAY, I can cancel because it’s a snow day!! I hadn’t been this happy to see snow since the 4th grade. No such luck the damn snow had melted and he was coming. Where’s a good snow storm when needed? So drinks: does that mean one drink and hello how are you goodbye or are we going to sit for awhile and have a bite and get to know one another? Who knew? I usually whip myself into a frenzy about what to wear but that night, two dresses and I was done. So very unlike me. I was just not into him so why make a mess of my closet?
I got to the hotel and there was Jimmy. Thank heavens he looked sort of like his picture and the cross between a grimace and a smile was better than I expected. We sat down and from the onset, I sensed something off and vaguely creepy about this guy. To me, first dates are all about small talk: movies, theater, how many kids do you have, did you kill your ex – only kidding, the usual chit chat. In that vein, I mentioned I had just seen Hamilton and that it was the best show I had ever seen. Well, all of a sudden this guy is animated and ranting about how Hamilton was a nobody and that the show was all about immigration and some other crap about Lin Manuel Miranda. SAY WHAT???
UH OH, politics not a good topic on a first date. It devolved from there. For some insane reason, probably because I was hungry, always hungry, I suggested ordering a pizza hoping that he would shut his mouth and eat. No such luck. I wanted to do a Theresa Giudice of Real Housewives of New Jersey infamy and throw the table over on him. Of course being a lady plus one who has a bad back, I did not do that. I did ask him if he was planning on getting me an uber. LOL! That precipitated a whole other tirade. I got up said goodbye and walked out or should I say ran down the block to get away from this lunatic. I should mention that he told me he owned guns. Now that made me feel really comfy. GEEZ!!
Now, ladies what did I learn from these 2 experiences?? Case 1: just because someone gives good phone doesn’t mean he has a real personality. Case 2: follow my inner voice. My instincts were right. Did I expect this guy to be batshit crazy; not really but I knew that something was off.
Is every date a horror show? Of course not and one has to have faith that you won’t run into too many jerks. It’s not easy but you gotta be in it to win it. Did I really just say that?
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About the Author:
Ellen lives and works in NYC. Her blog Sixty And The City takes us on a poignant and funny ride of the dating scene after 60. Follow Sixty And The City on Instagram and stay tuned here on Kuel Life for more anecdotes. This blog has been reposted with permission from Sixty And The City.