Divorce and Transitions: Mardi Winder-Adams
Facing divorce after 50 can feel terrifying—but it may also be the most liberating, empowering decision you’ve ever made.
Facing Divorce After 50 – Fear Of Being Single And Alone:
The fear of being alone, financial insecurity, and the challenge of starting over later in life often keep women in relationships that are no longer fulfilling or potentially even toxic and abusive. But staying in an unhappy marriage out of fear isn’t a solution; it only postpones the opportunity to build a life that truly reflects who you are now.
If you’re facing a gray divorce, you’re not alone. Divorce rates among adults over 50 have doubled in the past three decades, and more women than ever are choosing to prioritize their own happiness and well-being over societal expectations.
That said, the concerns that keep women trapped in bad relationships at this stage of life are real. Let’s take a look at some of the biggest fears and how to navigate them.
1. The Weight of Social Expectations and Loneliness:
Women in their 50s and beyond grew up in a time when marriage was often seen as the foundation of a secure life. The idea of growing old alone can be concerning, and societal messages often reinforce the notion that being single later in life means being isolated.
But the reality is that many divorced women over 50 build stronger social circles, deepen their friendships, and even feel more connected than they did in their marriages. Instead of focusing on what you’re losing, consider what you might gain in freedom, self-discovery, and the ability to create meaningful relationships on your own terms.
“Women in their 50s and beyond grew up in a time when marriage was often seen as the foundation of a secure life.”
2. The Fear of Managing Finances Alone:
Many women in long-term marriages relied on their spouse to handle financial decisions, investments, or retirement planning. Facing divorce later in life can bring up deep fears about whether you’ll have enough money to sustain yourself.
The good news is that financial security after divorce is possible, even if you’re not going to have the same resources you anticipated. Working with a financial advisor who specializes in divorce can help you make informed decisions about retirement accounts, social security benefits, alimony, and asset division. Taking control of your financial future is empowering—and it’s never too late to start.
3. Becoming a Single Woman Later in Life:
For women in their 50s, 60s, and beyond, stepping into single life after decades of marriage can feel daunting. You may wonder how to navigate social circles that were once built around couples, how to date again (if you want to), or simply how to structure your days without the rhythm of a long-term partnership.
While the transition can be challenging, it’s also an opportunity to rediscover what brings you joy. Many women find that post-divorce life brings a renewed sense of independence and purpose, whether through travel, hobbies, or new friendships. You have the chance to design a life that’s entirely your own.
4. The Comfort of the Familiar vs. the Fear of the Unknown:
Even when a marriage is no longer happy, it’s still familiar. For many women, that can feel safer than the uncertainty of what comes next. It’s common to worry about whether you’ll regret leaving or whether you’ll ever find companionship again.
But staying in an unfulfilling marriage out of fear means giving up the possibility of something better, which may be staying happily single. Rather than focusing on the “what-ifs” of the future, consider whether the present is truly serving you. Learning to be comfortable in your own company and focusing on your needs, particularly before seeking another relationship, can be an incredibly healing and fulfilling process.
” Rather than focusing on the “what-ifs” of the future, consider whether the present is truly serving you.”
5. Building a New Life on Your Own Terms:
Divorce after 50 is not the end of the road; it’s a new beginning. Taking small, proactive steps, whether it’s meeting with a financial planner, reconnecting with old friends, or working with a divorce coach, will help you make the transition with confidence.
You are not alone in this journey. Millions of women are choosing themselves over an unhappy marriage and finding that life on the other side can be richer, freer, and more fulfilling than they ever imagined.
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About the Author:
Mardi Winder-Adams is an Executive and Leadership Coach, Certified Divorce Transition Coach, and a Credentialed Distinguished Mediator in Texas. She has experienced her own divorce, moved to a new country and started her own business, and worked through the challenges of being a caregiver and managing the loss of a spouse.
Handling life transitions and pivots is her specialty! In her professional role as a divorce coach, Mardi has helped hundreds of women before, during, and after divorce to reduce the emotional and financial costs of the process. She is the founder of Positive Communication Systems, LLC.
