Fuzzy Hindsight

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I must start off being bluntly honest. Last night’s scenario was not my first choice.

A few months back, I bought Diana Krall concert tickets for my boyfriend as a Valentine’s Day gift/experience. As luck would have it, he had to travel during the week of the show and would not be able to attend.

Now mind you, when I get tickets to see a live performance, I don’t scrimp. My philosophy? I’d rather see one amazing live performance a year, up close and personal, than a whole bunch in the ‘you can see their lips move on the big screen and THEN hear the sound’ seats. I’d rather listen to them on Spotify. That being said, I had some choice tickets to the show.

Who to take? To whom to gift this amazing experience?

Here’s where I went awry. I’ll take my son. My fifteen and some change son. We can make it a wonderful ‘mother/son’ outing. I’d even throw in dinner at a fabulous Italian Trattoria, seemingly appropriately named, ‘Mothers and Sons’.

What could go wrong?

Did I mention his age???  What was I thinking?

The Dinner: 

First, my teen needs VOLUME in the food department at this stage in life. Taking him to an Italian Trattoria that labels the pasta choices as ‘Primi’ – which literally means before the second dish which is usually a meat/fish dish, translates into REALLY SMALL to my growing teen. Some Mothers might be gifted with a teen boy that has a delicate palette and adventurous food proclivities. When I say ‘gifted’, I am not sure I really mean it. That translates to really large restaurant bills. I have a teen who eats well; but eats simply. Complexity and nuance is not only lost on him; it’s downright offensive. He knows how something should taste. Period. Lets’ just say, I was thankful for the wine by the glass offering.

The Concert:

We arrived and immediately I noted that I could have been one of the ‘youngest’ in the joint had I not brought my kid along. This set off an immediate round of apologies from me. Hindsight ticks me off – it’s flipping useless. We sat down and he entertained himself, while we waited for the concert to begin, by pushing a virtual ball, as fast as possible, over hurdles, in between obstacles, towards a glorified finish line on the screen of his iPhone. Over and over again; I might add.

The lights dimmed. The musicians assumed their positions. Diana walked out on the stage and took her rightful place at the piano. The initial notes filling the auditorium with her rendition of “Night and Day”. I glanced towards my son, ready to regale him with informative tidbits about Cole Porter etc… to see him stretched back into his chair, mouth slightly agape.

Concert partners who fall asleep are not completely foreign to me. I turned back my gaze and attention, relaxed, and focused on the show. It was a wonderful evening of music. My son did eventually awaken and was able to appreciate the talented musicians as each of them took turns showcasing their musical gifts on the fiddle, bass, guitar or drum. He acknowledged the quality, while remaining true to his tastes in music.

No wine sipping. No chit chatting. No Pokemon talk. No teen guy humor. – I’ll leave it you to decide which one of us cared about which one.

Was it worth it? Would we do that again?

While I shouldn’t speak for my son, I know he would have preferred a huge bowl of angel hair pasta, drowning in meat sauce and parmesan over the tagliatelle al ragu and good old fashion french fries over the brick-oven roasted new potatoes with rosemary and thyme. I know he would have preferred playing video games, online, with his friends; all the while texting a different group of friends. Yet, he went. He went and didn’t gripe or complain.

As I said, hindsight can be annoying. While the saying it’s ’20/20′ is widely accepted; I am not clear. Each of us would have had a lovelier Saturday night had we spent it a part from one another. 53 year old women have very little in common with 15 year old males when it comes to “What’s happening on a Saturday night”.  But, I would do it again. I will.

What we walked away with from last nights mis-adventures is priceless. Not only did we spend time together, each of us gave up our ideal evening to make it happen. Those ‘compromises’, in hindsight, were some of the greatest gifts we’ve given each other.

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