Midlife Musings: Debra Johnstone
This morning while I was scratching for clues of what to write in my very first Kuel Life article, my car broke down.
It certainly wasn’t what I had in mind when I asked for writing inspiration this morning. But sometimes we get what we need not what we want, don’t we?
As I was walking home, I was very aware of my mindset and how I was handling this latest challenge. Not much of an issue compared to what’s happening on a global scale right now, but a problem all the same.
Well-Planned Day With Chaos:
No one likes problems right? Most of all we don’t want obstacles that stall us and create chaos in an otherwise well-planned day. We like to have some element of control.
“These pearls of wisdom have certainly helped me many times to manage chaos with a sense of calm.”
Like me, you might normally meet these setbacks with frustration and annoyance. You might even ask yourself, why does it happen to you?
The thing is though, when we meet with difficulties in this way, it can cause us a lot of unnecessary angst. It can also delay the solution too, while we spend time flapping around. Not to mention what the added stress does to our health and hormones.
Today I didn’t react. In fact, I surprised myself by how calm I was as I walked home in the Australian tropical heat. And I smiled as I realized my question this morning had been answered. Damn, I must remember to be more specific when I ask how I want to receive inspiration in the future.
What came to me in that moment of consciousness are insights that can be used in most challenging situations. These pearls of wisdom have certainly helped me many times to manage chaos with a sense of calm.
Trust All Will Be Well:
Faith is a big one and I really feel for anyone who doesn’t have it. Even though I sometimes react, I always know deep inside that all will be well. This means the feelings of impending disaster, if they do appear, don’t last for long. Even those times I blow things out of proportion; I see the logical side fairly quickly.
Trust will help you view things more easily through a realistic lens. This helps you stay calm and enables you to see solutions.
Tend To The Most Immediate Issue First:
When the unforeseen strikes we tend to become overwhelmed at the thought of ALL THE THINGS we might need to do to solve it. My immediate issue this morning was to buy milk for my morning tea and get home. That’s exactly what I did and it’s amazing how different things look over a nice cup of tea. It must be the Brit in me.
When you focus on the first step requiring your immediate attention, if frees up your mind to see what you need to do next and who it might help to contact. Staying conscious during chaos brings perfect solutions.
“True independence is in the knowing that you are capable of doing things yourself..”
Feel Comfortable With Asking For Help:
As soon as I got home, I contacted my son who is mechanically minded. He gave me the answers I needed instantly. This saved me heaps of time and stress, and hopefully money too.
Too often we strong women have an unrealistic view of independence. We think that asking for help is either weak or a sign that we are too dependent on others. True independence is in the knowing that you are capable of doing things yourself, it doesn’t mean never asking for a hand.
I could quite easily have researched and struggled alone. Trust me, that’s an easy thing for me to do after managing alone as a single mother for many years. But what good does that do anyone?
True strength is displayed in the vulnerability of asking for assistance. Reaching out for support can save you so much time and stress, and it makes the other person feel good too.
My Final Thoughts As I Walked Home:
My car breaking down was a challenge, but in that experience was the gift of awareness and inspiration.
Sometimes before we get what we want from life, we get what we need to reach that stage. It’s part of us recovering the parts of us we need to experience what we want.
My dear little car might end up costing a fortune to fix yet, who knows? But I am calm. This is because I am trusting the process of life, I am dealing with what is immediately at hand, and I am more than willing to ask for what I need. Even though I am quite capable of handling it myself.
As you can imagine though, I’d much rather have gained my inspiration elsewhere!
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About the Author:
Deb Johnstone is a Transformational Mindset Coach and a Midlife Transition Mentor. Experiencing midlife transition herself, she wanted work with more meaning and started her coaching practice in 2012. After the death of her father in 2019 and processing her grief, Deb experienced a deep loss of self where her identity felt challenged. It was through this that she felt the calling to work with women in this phase of life. It is now her mission to support women to transition midlife and beyond feeling confident, empowered and free to be your true self and live the life you want and deserve. You can connect with Deb on Facebook through The Empowered MidLife Woman where she posts insights daily, or connect with her through her website.