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You Can’t Always Get What You Want

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Lifestyle Kuel Life Contributor: Dolly Hertz

With apologies to Mick Jagger, my experience has been that I usually cannot get what I want WHEN I WANT IT.

I started a new career in real estate 10 years ago and thought I would be successful in year one.
THAT didn’t happen.

I broke up with my boyfriend two years ago and thought I would meet someone great right away.
THAT didn’t happen.

I thought my kids would buy a house near dear old mom.
THAT isn’t happening.

Wishful Thinking:

“The footwork is what I need to be doing. Good day, bad day, whatever – I have to move on.”

The second part of Jagger’s advice, “you’ll find sometime, you get what you need” is not as easy to accept, no matter how fervently I subscribe to the concept that a Higher Power is ultimately the decider, not me.

There’s a part of me that continues to engage in wishful thinking and hopes for a magical, perfect outcome. If only it could happen for ME, if only the universe would smile on ME, if only, if only, if only.

I will allow myself these fantasies only briefly because they will surely keep me stuck, maybe even on the couch with a big bag of chips. I like myself least when I’m in self-pity mode and get moving as soon as possible.

The footwork is what I need to be doing. Good day, bad day, whatever – I have to move on, stay in my own lane (which means not being envious of what others may have), do right by everyone I come into contact with and know, at the end of the day, that I have no regrets about my behavior. That last part is very freeing for me.

Learned To Think Differently:

What’s interesting to observe at this point in my life is that although I may not have gotten what I thought I wanted at the time, in retrospect I actually came pretty close in some ways and learned to think differently about what constitutes a successful life.

I may not be married to a movie star, or to anyone for that matter. And I don’t live a jet-setter lifestyle.

With real estate as my third career, I have still managed to rise to a respectable level in the New York City broker jungle. I love my role as grandma (or Ga-Ga, as I am known) and understand my boundaries where my kids are concerned.

As for that one last great love of my life, well, it’s apparently not in the cards for me right now. But that’s not going to keep me from being the best woman I can be.


About the Author:

Dolly Hertz is a real estate broker in NYC, an empty-nester, a mom and a grandma. She is a single woman of a certain age, trying to live her best life humbly and authentically. Her greatest pleasure is to be of service wherever possible. You can follow Dolly on Instagram; connect with her on LinkedIn and check-out her real estate website Engel & Volkers