I Stay Away From Limiting Labels – Deb, 58

Week 13 of the ‘Share Your Story; the Women the WSJ Missed’ is upon us and today I bring you Deb Gutierrez. Having just spent time with Deb at FierceCon 2019 in LA seems to me the perfect reason why her ….today.

Deb, who is a Personal Trainer and Health Coach, has also been a guest on my Kuel Chiefs show – 3 Signs, From Your Body, You Need To Listen To. She had a lot of incredibly helpful advice on the why we have trouble losing weight in midlife and that the old adage of: ‘eat less; move more’ doesn’t work. If you are struggling with weight management; I highly recommend it.

Here is Deb’s story:

KUELLIFE: What are you pursuing now, at this stage of your life, that surprises you or might appear to others as if it comes out of left field?

DEB I wouldn’t say surprises me, but, it is rather intriguing that I embrace learning. I am learning more each day about health, in particular, female hormonal health, fat loss, and healthspan.

KUELLIFE: What’s a typical day like for you?

DEB:  Morning routine – meditation, journaling, reading, walk 3-5 miles, posting on IG. Then; client calls, studying/learning/writing/reading, off to the gym, make dinner, and take the dog for another short walk.

KUELLIFE: With what do you struggle?

DEB: 1) Focused attention to stay on track during the day. In other words, I can get easily distracted. 2) My marketing skills are weak, and not an area I enjoy spending time on.

KUELLIFE: How do you motivate yourself and stay motivated?

DEB: I have a big vision, and I can’t stand being stagnant. Therefore, it is not tough to keep moving forward. I am a bit slow at it but that is ok.

KUELLIFE: What advice would you give fellow women about aging?

DEB: Keep moving daily! To call or label oneself as getting “old,” “older,” “for my age,” or anything negative, I believe on an emotional level creates more of a victim mindset and sets limitations. These limitations become excuses, also known as resistance. During any “age” of life, I believe it is in our best interest to grow, evolve, and always continue to strive for better health. So – keep moving and definitely drink more water than you think you should each day.

KUELLIFE: What does vulnerability mean to you? What has the ability to make you vulnerable?

DEB:  To be willing to do something that is uncomfortable, to be honest, and to be genuine. Be honest with yourself, and genuine when deciding to be “courageous” to tell a story about yourself or your life that may be uncomfortable. I am still not great at having the hard conversations with those closest to me; I understand that it is not a great virtue. It is a work in progress.

KUELLIFE: What are three events that helped to shape your life?

DEB: 1) My parent’s divorce (not to blame them) but it may have spurned some poor decisions I made in my late teens and early 20’s 2) Being a mother to three children, a daughter and, twin sons 3) Becoming a Personal Trainer at the age of 47, and then adding more to my career after that.

KUELLIFE: Who influenced you the most in life and why?

DEB: My mom has probably had the most significant influence. She has shown me to trust, to stay grounded in the face of adversity, to keep trying even when it sucks, and therefore, not to give up. I have a learning challenge, and school was agonizing. My mom would sit with me and help me with my studies. She would help me when I became overly frustrated and wanted to give up, guiding me to stay the course. My mom is very practical. Today, at times, I will push against her practicality, but what she is influencing is the same to be thoughtful, and wise before jumping into any situations, or before giving up on something. Due to learning challenges giving up has been my go-to form of resistance.

KUELLIFE: What is the best advice you’ve been given from another woman?

DEB: The advice is more of an acknowledgment from my closest friend. She once told me that I appeared angry, and that anger was my shield. To feel more at peace, and to do what I wanted, I would need to let the anger, the comparison trap, and the feeling of being less than –  go. The anger was hurting my ability to connect with others. My friend was fully aware of my insecurities; asked how being so damn hard on myself was helping myself, my relationships, and my kids. I took it to heart and started to do the inner work to release the grip.

KUELLIFE: What woman inspires you and why?

DEB: So many women inspire me as cliché as that sounds. I admire women today who have overcome adversity (which we all have) and not let it define them, be victims of, and who have and know they are in control of their emotions and attitude. 

In history, I am fascinated by Eleanor Roosevelt because of her strength, courage, tenacity, and incredible work ethic.

Two of my favorite quotes are from her:

 “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.”

“You must do things you think you cannot do.”

KUELLIFE: Are you grown-up?

DEB: Oh God NO! At least I pretend I am not. I am being honest; I am probably not as responsible as a grown-up should be. (If there is a should.)

KUELLIFE: What do you do for self-care?

DEB:  Physical Self-care – Exercise, Massage, Physical Therapy and Acupuncture. Emotional Self-care – Meditation, Walking, Going to the beach, and mountains.

KUELLIFE: And last but definitely NOT least: What are the top three things on your bucket list?

DEB: Learn to surf again. Travel to Chile to surf. A backpacking trip with the family (they may not want to jump on board with this one so that it will take a bit of an incentive).