Simple Sex Advice For Midlife Women

Simplicity & Connection Thought Leader –  Kay Newton

Founder Jack Perez tells me that the most read articles here at Kuel Life include the keyword Sex!

With that said, I wanted to see who would read this and also comment below. 

In today’s modern world, we often complicate the subject of sex. By the age of 50+, we have carried around concepts and beliefs from childhood. Many of our thoughts/beliefs do not serve at this life stage. For example, type into Google Sex and Menopause and the wealth of information available will confuse and overwhelm you. 

“Be confident knowing that you are enough just as you are – including all your wrinkles and warts.”

As midlife women with another possible 50+ years left on the planet, we cannot turn to our mothers and grandmother to ask for sex advice. We are the first generation to live through this new era of sexual activity midlife and beyond. It is up to us to explore and pass on our findings to the generations to come. 

It is time to simplify. 

Sex is Simpler When You Are You:

There is no one on the planet like you. Be confident knowing that you are enough just as you are – including all your wrinkles and warts. These are your badges of honour, each telling a story of a life well-lived. It is time to be proud.

When you are positive in body, mind, and soul, you carry an unmistakable air that turns heads no matter your age. With assuredness, you know what makes you feel sexy. 

Unfortunately, it is so easy to arrive at midlife not knowing who you are or what you like, creating a lack of confidence for the next stage. It’s time to activate and empower your sensuality and make time to be Sensuously Sensibly Selfish. It can be as simple as spending time exploring your own body as it is today. Love and honour your human temple on a regular basis it has served so far. 

“The next step is to have the confidence to share your revelations with your partner.”

Honour Your Feelings:

Feel your feelings from your heart. Allow yourself to feel and tune in to your innate powers of intuition. Be confident to discover your illusions and disillusions about sex. They are neither good nor bad – they just are.  

Take time with the process and love yourself for the effort. Choose to change the thoughts that no longer serve. We live in the present moment – what has gone before is not now. What will happen in the future, we do not know. Enjoy what you have presently – it is the greatest gift.

The next step is to have the confidence to share your revelations with your partner. Choose your moment carefully, and warn them that this may be hard for you. When you open up from a vulnerable place, it is a special time of trust, a place of growth for both partners. 

Communication creates connection – simples. 

“Include teasing, spontaneity and always something new, however small.”

Have Fun and Sex:

Fun and Sex – simply go together. Whether you are a new couple or married for 30+ years, laughter is happiness. The feel-good sex hormones endorphins and oxytocin allow the body to relax and may also stave off anxiety and depression.

The effort is the key. Lovemaking can simply be a time to hold hands, reach for a kiss or peck on the cheek, brush past each other or send/write notes. Together, explore new ways to be sexual. Include teasing, spontaneity and always something new, however small.

Create date nights, weekends away or impromptu meetings. Age is just a number and a figment of the imagination. If you think you can do it, you can!

Never Say ‘I Love You Too’ No Matter Your Age!

When someone honours you by saying ‘I love you’ it is easy to cheapen the gift by adding the ditto phrase ‘I love you too’. Such an organic and intimate phrase describes many intense emotions and needs no response. 

“When someone says ‘I love you’ you can thank them. Nothing more.”

The words can come from the moment itself or accumulated feelings spoken at the right time. As the recipient, you do not know the whole intention – yet you will feel it. All you have to do is accept with humility (not always easy).

When someone says ‘I love you’ you can thank them. Nothing more. No explanation is needed. It is that simple. Expect some strange looks, to begin with, if this is something you are prone to do – especially during or after sex!

New Chapter Of Your Relationship:

Now that you have read to the end, why not send the link to your partner and ask them to read the post? The concepts here apply to both of you. It can be a great starting point to a new chapter of your relationship. 

If you have found any of the thoughts above uncomfortable, why not reach out either to me or Kuel Life’s resident Sexuality thought leader Beth Keil and ask for a private chat.

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