Now, really IN my 50s, reality has hit. Some of my 30s and 40s life-style habits just aren’t working for me anymore.
I’ve struggled with the notion of fighting it, accepting it, ignoring it. I’ve been sad. I’ve been ticked-off. I’ve been resentful. I’ve been belligerent. Today I decided to not give a ‘bleep’ and expose a few of the miscreants which have been plaguing me. In sharing, I hope to disarm them of their self-esteem stripping power. And, maybe by sharing them, other Kuel Women can find camaraderie and comfort that we are in this together.
Single, Married, or Partnered… Independence Is Key.
” I still carve out time for independent pursuits.”
I am in a relationship; I live with my boyfriend. But, that only happened AFTER 50. Yes, we were dating for a few years prior; but, for the most part, I had a very independent life filled with many wonderful opportunities to be with my son, friends, family, or alone – if that’s what I needed or wanted at the time. It was an incredibly freeing time in my life; one which was not marred by the specter of having to find ‘the one.’ Been there. Done that. Now, even though I live with a mate, I still carve out time for independent pursuits. I find it makes for an overall healthier me and relationship. When my boyfriend and I spend time together, each of us has interesting conversation to share.
Exercise. Even a Little. Every day.
Between arthritis and hormonally-driven sleep deprivation, I am often times faced with “Can I just skip exercising today?” Turns out the answer is a resounding “NO”! I did stop exercise for a while, in the hopes of feeling less aches and pains. Yes, the arthritis eased up; but my middle expanded, my energy plummeted, and my disposition suffered greatly. As you can imagine, those stuck with me on a daily basis were very happy to see me back at it. Even on days when I just can’t get a session with weights or a jump rope, or time on the Peloton, I still do three sets of: 20 push-ups, a one minute plank, and 20 reverse lunges – throughout the day.
Buy Nicer Clothes.
Even at 50 I could still grab a sized-medium bikini off the round-bin at Target. I tried that this past January before heading off on a Caribbean vacation. Definitely, my last time. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my body. It’s treated me well for a over half a century. It’s solidly built. The engine runs great. But, let’s face it, after 53 years there are many ‘cosmetic’ dings and the leather seats…. well, let’s just say I haven’t been sitting in a temperature/humidity-controlled garage all this time.
Embrace FaceBook’s “On This Day”.
I have a ‘love-hate’ relationship with the “On This Day” feature on FaceBook. If you were an early adopter, you might have upwards of a decade or more to reflect upon. I joined in 2007; and believe me, I look VERY different today than I did at 42. Sometimes it’s a bit of a ‘slap in the face’ and a ‘what happened to me’? But, for the most part it reminds me of wonderful moments in my son’s life and fun times with friends (see point one.)
Ten Years Later…..
Break-Up With Victoria’s Secret
“they look better on the floor than on my body”
At this point in my life, no matter how much I bench press, the girls need some extra help. While the undergarments at Victoria’s Secret are frilly, sexy, and lacy; they look better on the floor than on my body. Let me be clear, I am not opposed to medical intervention to help put the sisters back up where they came from and where, in my opinion, they should stay. As of yet, I haven’t fully committed to the idea of a breast lift. I am having difficulty reconciling expense, general anesthesia-risk, and downtime. For the time being, a super expensive bra from Nordstrom is a fantastic place holder. Not glamorous and won’t win any eye candy awards but under clothing the illusion continues.
“I would make a terrible, terrible spy.”
Sleep Deprivation Causes Depravity.
I would make a terrible, terrible spy. I would give up the nuclear codes in a heart beat after two, maybe three, nights of ‘no sleep’. The issue I have, and I suspect I am in good company, is that I never ‘know’ who is going to show up in bed with me; Hypnos (the god of sleep) or Mesperyian (goddess of torture and punishment). I am in a constant state of trying to figure out the aging related insomnia. Eat, don’t eat. Wine, no wine. Nap, no nap. T.V. before bed, no t.v.. I think you get the picture. Nothing works or doesn’t work consistently enough, so please keep the Gold Codes away from me.
Adopt a Skin Care Regime
For years my face got washed like the rest of me. Bar of soap, body-wash, shampoo… whatever was around. I finally came to terms with the notion that the skin on my face is different (not to mention more visible) than my body skin. As it turns out, our facial epidermis is about 0.12 mm thick, while body skin is thicker, around 0.60 mm. In addition, our body skin is less oily than facial skin because it has far fewer sebaceous glands. Skin products containing retinol can help diminish fine lines and wrinkles. Better yet, ask your dermatologist for a prescription to Retina-A. It’s expensive and your insurance won’t be hornswogled into believing you ‘need’ it for acne control. But, a little goes a long way, and I have it on the utmost of authority (WEBMD) that retinoids minimize the appearance of wrinkles, improves thickness and elasticity of the skin, and slows the breakdown of collagen.
I have more “AHa” moments to share and I hope all the Kuel Women out there will chime in with any of theirs. For now, it’ll have to wait for another Jack’s Smack, since I have been up and wrestling with the goddess of torture and punishment since 2am. My brain has officially turned to pudding and my eyelids have each gained 50+pounds. I must go close them; right now. Even, if it is only for a moment.