Wildly Imperfect: Elaine Blais
Ready to unlock the joy of midlife?
As we move into midlife, and beyond, we often find ourselves at a crossroads, reflecting on the past while considering the path forward. It can be a time of significant transitions, where roles and identities that once defined us no longer fit as comfortably as they once did.
Does this sound familiar? Nevertheless, in a world that glorifies cynicism as wisdom and skepticism as having smarts, choosing joy can be a radical act of rebellion. I don’t know about you, but I’m all for a rebellion on aging.
Joy: A Powerful Strategy For Midlife Transformation:
Joy as a strategy for navigating midlife allows us to shift our focus. Looking through joy we see not what we have lost, but what we can create and experience. Not what we might have missed, but what we have gained. Joy encourages us to explore new possibilities, reconnect with passions and dreams, and find fulfillment in new adventures.
Midlife is a time of doing whatever the heck we want. At least it has for me. Joy helps us cultivate a mindset of opportunity for renewal and growth, rather than one of decline.
Joy invites us to approach our second or third acts with an open heart and a spirit that is ready to embrace whatever comes. This makes joy a powerful partner as we continue to evolve and flourish.
“Joy helps us cultivate a mindset of opportunity for renewal and growth, rather than one of decline.”
In my view, joy isn’t about always being positive. It’s not putting on a brave face or a fake smile. It’s much more profound than that. It’s an unshakeable enthusiasm and zest for life regardless of circumstances.
Whole Spectrum Of The Human Experience:
In An Introduction to Joy, Rob Bell shares two theories about joy that have stuck with me. The first is that cynicism is easy because it’s lazy—it doesn’t go far enough. The second is this: “Joy,” Bell suggests, “is different from happy. Joy has plenty of room for anger, loss, betrayal, heartache, depression, and despair. Joy does no repressing, avoiding, or denying. Joy can wrap its arms around the whole spectrum of the human experience.”
The very idea that joy can wrap its arms around the entire spectrum of the human experience is what makes it so exquisite. It denies nothing and embraces everything. It doesn’t dismiss what appears to be wrong, difficult, or lost. It sees clearly, honestly, and still holds fast to the knowing that something greater is unfolding before us.
Joy to me is not just an emotion, but a strategy for living – at any age.
Joy As A Life Strategy:
When I think of joy as a strategy, I see it as an energetic container in which creativity and possibility exist. A guiding principle that shapes how we experience life and the world. Joy isn’t just about feeling good; joy can be the difference between simply surviving and thriving. Joy acknowledges hardships, struggles, and pain but still chooses to keep its focus on the possibilities that lie ahead.
With joy as our compass, we begin to navigate life differently. We ask different questions of ourselves. No matter the situation, we can invite joy in. We can ask ourselves, “Can joy be present here?” Rather than allowing our decisions to be driven by obligation, fear, or societal expectations, we can place our trust in what brings us genuine fulfillment and meaning.
This doesn’t mean avoiding responsibilities or challenges; it means approaching them with a mindset that seeks out joy in every situation, even amid difficulties.
The 5 Steps To Unlock The Joy Of Midlife – Joy Mapping:
One of the practices that helps me cultivate joy as a strategy is what I call joy mapping. This exercise is designed to help you identify and expand the moments of joy in your life, making them more frequent and intentional.
Here’s how you can start joy mapping:
1. Reflect on Moments of Joy:
Take a few minutes to reflect on the past week or month. What were the moments that brought you genuine joy? It could be something as simple as a conversation with a friend, a walk in nature, or a creative project that lit you up.
“What were the moments that brought you genuine joy? .”
2. Identify the Source:
For each moment of joy, identify what specifically about the experience brought you joy. Was it the connection, the creativity, the sense of accomplishment, or perhaps the peace it brought you?
3. Map It Out:
On a piece of paper or a digital document, create a map or a list of these sources of joy. This map is your guide to understanding where joy naturally flows in your life.
4. Expand Your Joy:
Look at your map and ask yourself how you can bring more of these joyful experiences into your life. Can you schedule more time with people who uplift you? Can you engage in creative activities more often? The goal is to intentionally create space for joy in your daily life.
5. Embrace the Full Spectrum:
Remember, joy is not about denying the harder emotions. As you expand your joy, allow yourself to feel all your emotions fully, knowing that joy can hold them all.
Strategies For Transformation – Joy As Strength:
Ultimately, inviting joy into every moment has changed my life. It could change yours too. Joy is the strength to face life’s challenges with a spirit undisturbed by the complexities of life. Joy acknowledges difficulties while still holding out hope and possibility. oy is a rebellion against the forces that seek to diminish us. Joy declares that we will not be worn-down by weighty opinions of the world.
Making joy a central part of midlife strengthens our resilience and resolve to not only normalize aging but to glorify and celebrate it.
Did you enjoy this article? Become a Kuel Life Member today to support our Community. Sign-up for our Sunday newsletter and get your content delivered straight to your inbox.
About the Author:
Elaine Blais is Spiritual Life Coach, Imperfection Alchemist and author whose superpower is helping humans, primarily women, alchemize their perceived imperfections and turn them into strengths. Her signature program, The Art of Self-Approval™ is a pathway to breaking free from the chains of perfectionism and people-pleasing and unlocking your full potential.
After a quarter century in the corporate grind, and years of struggling with co-dependency and self-doubt, Elaine decided to leave behind what was expected of her and transform into the woman she wanted to be. So, at fifty-nine, she decided to write a new chapter in her life, literally. Her debut book, 3 Secrets to a Kickass Life, is a manifesto for those looking to live with intention and purpose. Elaine believes you can write your own story too.
