Parent Coach for Moms of Teens: Fern Weis
Authentic connections – demand vulnerability.
And being vulnerable can feel like stepping into a trap. When you reveal your true thoughts and feelings, it can seem like you’re inviting criticism, rejection, or emotional pain.
It’s All About Trust:
If I don’t trust you, sharing deeply feels unsafe. And for me, those trust issues trace back to my childhood.
Growing up, Mom was my emotional confidante. She was empathetic and dreamed of being a psychologist. Dad, on the other hand, struggled to understand his sensitive daughter. Although I promised I would not repeat that pattern, I became guarded with my emotions, especially with him. This pattern continued into my adult relationships, including my marriage.
” The fear of rejection and the need for approval are powerful forces.”
In the early years, my husband jokingly called me ‘the turtle’ because I would retreat emotionally during disagreements. It was funny and also painfully true—it felt too risky to say what I really thought.
How Do We Create Authentic Connections?
The fear of rejection and the need for approval are powerful forces. They held me back for years, though I’m proud to say they don’t control me as much anymore. When you crave approval, you often sacrifice emotional honesty, trying to be what you think others expect you to be. And you lose pieces of yourself along the way.
Vulnerability, when shared appropriately and safely, is a profound gift—to yourself and others. Being emotionally honest helps build deeper relationships instead of surface-level connections with people who may not matter to you.
Vulnerability Is Important:
I strongly believe that being vulnerable is especially important with our teens. They need to see our vulnerability more than we realize.
Opening up doesn’t weaken your authority as a parent. In fact, sharing personal challenges can strengthen your relationship:
“Opening up doesn’t weaken your authority as a parent.”
- It makes you more relatable and approachable.
- Your teen gains a fuller understanding of who you are as a person.
- They see you as human and imperfect, which is healthy.
- It demonstrates that personal growth is a lifelong process.
- It gives them hope that they, too, can grow and change.
𝙏𝙧𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙖 𝙩𝙬𝙤-𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙩. When you trust them with your struggles, it creates the possibility for them to trust you in return.
As we continue on our personal journeys, embracing vulnerability not only enriches our relationships with our teens but also empowers us to live more authentically. For women over 50, opening up can be a transformative experience, offering fresh insights and stronger connections. Let’s cherish the courage it takes to be vulnerable, and remember, every step we take towards openness is a step towards a fuller, more connected life.
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About the Author:
Fern Weis is a Parent Empowerment Coach for Moms of Teens and a Family Recovery Coach. She’s also a wife, former middle school teacher, and the parent of two adult children who taught her more about herself than she ever could have imagined.
Fern partners with moms of teens and young adults, privately and in groups. She helps them grow their confidence to build strong relationships and emotionally healthier kids who become successful adults. She knows first-hand that when parents do the work, the possibilities for change are limitless; that it’s never too late to start; and you don’t have to do it alone. Learn more about Fern at www.fernweis.com. Schedule your complimentary Parent Support Call at https://calendly.com/talktofern/discovery-call.
If you’re ready to stop collecting parenting information and move to action and implementation, the Moms’ Circle is your next best step. For information on this small group coaching program, contact Fern.
