Money Kuel Category Expert: Melissa Ternes
Money Love – Giving to Yourself
It’s that time of year again…the holidays, where gift giving abounds.This year has been so different in so many ways.Why not do something different with gift giving too? I invite you to start with giving yourself the gift of money love.
Now before you say it, money love represents so many good and positive things. Money love is an honoring of you, your future self, the work you do in the world, your talents, your impact. What does it look like to gift yourself money love?
Valuing yourself as money love. When we value ourselves, we are content and spend money in a way that honors both our current self and our future self. In the season of gift giving it is especially important to remember your future self, the one that will receive all the bills 30 days from now.
“consider how this gift will make you feel at three distinct points”
As you are shopping, pause and consider how this gift will make you feel at three distinct points: when you give it, when you pay for it (now or later), and next year. Does the feeling at all three of these points feel good or bad? Use this to rate the money love of each purchase. The best gifts allow us to feel good at all three points, the worst gifts are the cause of guilt and regret later on.
Intentional Spending – Purchase With A Purpose:
Spending money with companies and for causes you believe in as money love. When we give money to things we believe in and make our heart sing, we further spread our support. Being intentional in where we spend is a way to expand our impact in the world by aligning our dollars and beliefs.
“Intentionally spending money looks like checking in with yourself and asking questions”
Money love is doing the best with what you have, regardless of circumstances. This year it may be giving the gift of your time or talents rather than a material gift. An old-fashioned letter in the mail to a friend or family member. Dinner together. A walk in the park. Accepting where you are allows you the freedom to spend on what makes you happy instead of spending out of a feeling of obligation.
Not going into debt to give to others or make others happy is money love. Intentionally spending money looks like checking in with yourself and asking questions. Will buying this item add debt to my life? If so, am I comfortable with how I will handle the repayment, or will it be a struggle? Does buying this item make someone else happy now and me sad when the bill comes? Can I easily afford this purchase? Am I buying this to feel better in the moment? Can I give this gift with no strings attached? Am I giving this gift out of a feeling of obligation?
Before Giving – Ask Yourself These Questions:
Gift giving is a place to question everything … by that I mean taking a step back, asking questions, letting go of what no longer serves you, and moving forward with what delights you. Too often gift giving is steeped in tradition and obligation. Tradition says, this is the way it’s always been and so I have to keep doing it, regardless of whether or not it makes my heart sing. And obligation says, they gave me “x”, so I have to give them something in return. Obligation giving does not acknowledge the gift. Gifts are, by definition, an item given to someone without the expectation of payment or anything in return. When we “return give” out of obligation, we are acting counter to the intent of the gift. Give freely, give generously, and give with money love as the foundation.
When you gift yourself money love you are giving yourself love, peace, freedom, ease, impact and dignity. What a great gift for closing out this very different year! How will you gift yourself money love?
About the Author:
Melissa Ternes is a financial empowerment coach, author, serial entrepreneur, wife, dog mom and lover of travel. Melissa is based in Raleigh, North Carolina and when she’s not out speaking or teaching, she’s seeking an adventure on the “pretty blue water” of Belize. You can connect with Melissa on LinkedIn and check-out her website at Master Your Money Now.