When The Universe Hit The ‘Pause’ Button

The world is up-ended.

Uncertainty, fear, and anxiety abound. We are not in a personal or U.S. crisis; we are in a global catastrophe. There is not one human amongst us that is exempt from the current pandemic. Not one. 

I am not sure this has ever happened before, at this magnitude. COVID19 is weird… it may or may not be symptomatic; it may or may not kill you. WTF? How should we behave? What is over-reacting? What is not enough?

How can anyone be HAPPY at all right now? 

At the risk of being stoned; I am. Sure, I am worried about the safety of my loved ones (including myself). Yes, I am concerned that our world economy is taking such a hit that it may be years before we recover. Of course, I have a bit of cabin fever and miss seeing my sister, my friends, geez – strangers, for that matter.

But, I still find myself ‘Happy’.

The Universe has gifted me a ‘PAUSE’. For the first time in my life, I truly feel not rushed. My list of activities are streamlined to:
1. Sleep in.
2. Work on Kuel Life.
3. Exercise.
4. Connect virtually with loved ones & friends.
5. Plan and make a healthy dinner for my family.
6. REPEAT.

And, here’s what’s really weird… I am LIKING it. I am enjoying the slow, simple way of living.

What it has made me realize about myself is that I was running through my life at warp speed. I seemed to always have a full appointment and social calendar; a hectic travel schedule; a gajillion live entertainment opportunities; and a  life ‘errands’ ad nauseam list. I know I chose this way of living; no one mandated it. 

For whatever reason, the way I have internalized my surroundings, placed me in a position of ‘doing more’. My FOMO (fear of missing out) owned me. I didn’t even know it; until the Universe hit the PAUSE button.

I am not missing out on anything. Everyone is caught in their own slow motion movie scene. In movies, the slow-motion special effect is awe-inspiring. Slow-motion, not only heightens the view of the action at hand; it enhances the impact of a given emotion.

This is exactly the gift of the PAUSE button for me.

I am not frantically looking ahead, or left, or right. I am ok with here and now. I am way more aware of how good I feel with the gift of extra sleep. I am tuned into my body and permit it additional time to stretch post exercise (something I used to short change myself because ‘who has the time?’). I thoughtfully plan and prepare interesting, healthy meals; grateful that I have access to food.

I’ve been taught lessons by the Universe before. The ‘It’s ok to ask for help’ lesson was a doozy to learn. I had to have my right foot break from being run over by a car, AFTER tearing my left calf muscle in martial arts to HEAR the Universe. But hear, I did. As I literally had no legs to stand on.

This time, I am all ears. I also get plenty of practice time. They say it takes about two months to create a new habit. And, a new habit is what I’m after.

A habit that includes a more thoughtful way of showing up in the world. A new habit that allows me to pause before saying ‘yes’. A new habit of being intentional with how and on what I spend my precious time.

For this; ‘I thank you Universe’. I am choosing to see the gift in all of this. Yes, of course fear and uncertainty swell within me; but I choose to take a big deep breath in downward dog, a nap, or eat a dark green leafy vegetable in its stead.

For Additional Encouragement:
I am honored to be included in Robin LaMonte’s post: Is Your Glass Half Full or Half Empty?

Where she also highlights several other women who have written uplifting pieces for this difficult time.

Kim of For A Good Life After 50

Phyllis of Follow Phyllis

Angie of Act Your Style

Kay of Dressed for My Day

Patty Gale wrote a wonderful article about personal and financial self-care.