Are Compromise And Settling Killing Your Relationships?

Sexuality Expert: Beth Keil 

How often do you say “yes”, when you want to say “no”?

When you compromise, do you wonder, “When will I have what I need the way that I need it? Are you even clear about what you need, want, and desire?

“Many of us were admonished or even punished for being selfish when we didn’t share.”

To Get Along You Need To Share, Whether You Want To Or Not!

From a young age, you were taught how to share, from siblings to friends. Many of us were admonished or even punished for being selfish when we didn’t share.

This Set You Up To Compromise, Another Form Of Sharing:

Sharing became a way to be good and gain approval. When you’re very young, being liked and part of the group, is important; in essence, it means you’ll be included, and in turn, be taken care of. When you think of it, it was a way to survive!

People-Pleaser In Training:

To stay liked, you always need to know what the other person is thinking. This is how so many people lose themselves in relationships – pleasing others while losing themselves. In the process, you can end up settling for less.

“Society would have you believe it’s what people who are really in love with each other do for one another.”

Do You Silence Your Own Voice For The Sake Of Connection And Love?

On the surface, compromise can sound like a good thing. It can be seen as an equitable way to resolve an issue, particularly in a relationship, as each person gives something up. Society would have you believe it’s what people who are really in love with each other do for one another.

Compromise Can Be Poisonous To Love, Intimacy, And Passion!

I’ve heard many women speak of the differences they and their partner or spouse experience in regards to their sexual needs and desires. If one person enjoys and needs more sexual intimacy and connection, how do you compromise?

A question to ask is, at what point can resignation and dissatisfaction set in when you feel like you’re settling?

Remember, being a people pleaser will get you nowhere, as you’re not showing up as you in your relationship. Judging yourself or your partner, will not get anywhere either. Shame and guilt shut down the vulnerability and openness needed for highly personal and sensitive conversations.

“In fact, it’s a way to celebrate the uniqueness of two independent souls!”

There’s Another Way To Work Through This And Other Issues – COLLABORATION:

When you collaborate, you aren’t coming from the premise that you have to give something up. In fact, it’s a way to celebrate the uniqueness of two independent souls! Notice the difference in these synonyms (Merriam-Webster dictionary):

Compromise: negotiate, concession, give-and-take

Collaborate: concur, cooperate, team (up), and unite

Which Will Enhance The Connection And Sexual Intimacy In Your Relationship?

What you choose, and how you do it, is unique to you and your partner. There are no one-size-fits-all solution. If you want a deeper conversation, schedule your Discovery Call, a 30-minute phone conversation; the details are below.

Here’s to Aphrodite Rising!

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