Parent Coach for Moms of Teens: Fern Weis
Parenting isn’t about ensuring constant happiness—it’s about building resilience so your child can navigate life’s inevitable ups and downs with strength and confidence.
The Myth of Constant Happiness—and Why Struggle Matters:
Sure, I enjoy Pharrell Williams’ song “Because I’m Happy”—it’s catchy, fun, and full of energy. Plus, the videos of people dancing are contagious! But here’s the truth: in everyday life, there’s a lot of pressure placed on our children to be constantly happy. It’s natural to feel heartbroken when your child is upset or disappointed, but it’s also a part of life.
While you can’t shield them from these feelings, you can help them develop the resilience to face them head-on. And remember, those tough moments often become a source of strength in their future. So, what is your role as a parent in these moments?
“Those tough moments often become a source of strength in their future.”
Building Resilience Matters More Than Constant Happiness:
There’s a prevailing myth that children should always be happy, and anything less isn’t okay. This mindset led to participation trophies, parents stepping in with teachers, compensating with rewards after losses, saying yes when you really should say no, and trying to convince kids to stay upbeat when they’re feeling down. But these actions don’t lead to lasting happiness—whatever that looks like.
I’ve also been guilty of saying to my kids, “I just want you to be happy.” Of course, I want them to experience joy, but I’ve come to understand that happiness isn’t something I can guarantee for them.
So, what’s your job during the ups and downs of their lives?
“Of course, I want them to experience joy, but I’ve come to understand that happiness isn’t something I can guarantee for them.”
Your Role Is:
- To hold their hand when they’re struggling.
- To support them through sadness and disappointment.
- To express your confidence in their ability to bounce back.
- To help them discover ways that work for them to cope with adversity.
- To provide guidance and be their parent.
Where can you let go and allow your child to build resilience on their own?
Raising Resilient Adults–Your Real Parenting Goal:
Parenting isn’t about creating a perfect, happy life for your child—it’s about equipping them to handle real life. By focusing on building resilience, you give your child a powerful gift: the ability to rise after setbacks, face challenges with confidence, and trust themselves through every high and low. Stay steady, stay supportive, and remember—you’re raising a future adult, not managing a permanent mood.
If you’re looking for more support and resources on parenting and building resilience, be sure to check out Fern Weis’ bio below. She offers valuable insights for navigating the ups and downs of raising teens and young adults.
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About the Author:
Fern Weis is a Parent Empowerment Coach for Moms of Teens and a Family Recovery Coach. She’s also a wife, former middle school teacher, and the parent of two adult children who taught her more about herself than she ever could have imagined.
Fern partners with moms of teens and young adults, privately and in groups. She helps them grow their confidence to build strong relationships and emotionally healthier kids who become successful adults. She knows first-hand that when parents do the work, the possibilities for change are limitless; that it’s never too late to start; and you don’t have to do it alone. Learn more about Fern at www.fernweis.com. Schedule your complimentary Parent Support Call at https://calendly.com/talktofern/discovery-call. Ready for support? Apply for a complimentary 30-minute Parent Discovery Call at https://calendly.com/talktofern/discovery-call.
