Midlife Matters Thought Leader: Julie DeLucca-Collins
I was sitting in a crowded conference room when the speaker said: “Imagine I had a magic button, and if you press this button, it will instantly make you the best version of yourself. Would you push it?”
The entire room of attendees quickly began to raise their hands and agree that they would press the magic button. As I raised my hand, I realized that although I have always been willing to push the magic button, I rarely ended up living my best life. Somehow, something always seemed to get in the way.
“Life changes, and sometimes work demands more attention..”
Today, I want to share my journey of finding harmony by stopping the constant struggle of balancing work and personal life.
Many view work-life balance as an ideal goal, but achieving it can be challenging, particularly for midlife women like me, juggling various roles. Instead of chasing a perfect balance, we really need to find harmony between our responsibilities and desires.
Life changes, and sometimes work demands more attention, while other times, personal passions and relationships become the priority. Embracing this perspective lets go of guilt and allows us to feel fulfilled. We can make choices that match our values, creating a life that combines our duties and dreams in a balanced way.
As we journey through midlife, we encounter various challenges that affect our overall well-being. One significant hurdle for many of us is the presence of inner saboteurs – those negative voices in our heads that hinder us from achieving peace, happiness, and fulfillment.
These saboteurs are automated patterns of thought that cause stress, anxiety, self-doubt, and unhappiness. In this article, I’ll explore how I identified and overcame my saboteurs, and I invite you to join me in creating the harmony we desire.
Path To Harmony:
Saboteurs are the culprits that block our path to harmony. The Judge, the universal Saboteur, torments everyone. It constantly berates us over our mistakes or perceived shortcomings, instills obsessive worries about the future, and keeps us anxious at night. Moreover, the Judge fosters a negative outlook on life and others, leading to unhappiness and strained relationships.
“To tame the Judge, I began practicing self-compassion.”
Other saboteurs, such as the Avoider, Controller, Hyperachiever, Hyper Rational, Hypervigilant, Pleaser, Restless, Stickler, and Victim, manifest in different ways but share the common goal of disrupting our emotional balance and well-being.
Acknowledging the existence of these saboteurs was the first step towards finding harmony in my life. I recognized that I was constantly plagued by self-doubt and an intense fear of failure. This fear drove me to work tirelessly, neglecting my personal life and well-being. Understanding that the Judge was responsible for this self-critical attitude was an eye-opener.
To tame the Judge, I began practicing self-compassion. Instead of dwelling on my mistakes, I viewed them as opportunities for growth and learning. I challenged negative thoughts by focusing on my strengths and achievements, building a more positive self-image.
Taming The Archetypes To Achieve Work-Life Balance:
Here’s how I have managed to tame my archetype co-pilots.
The Hyperachiever: I learned to set realistic goals and prioritize tasks. By accepting that I couldn’t do everything perfectly all the time, I allowed myself to take breaks and rest when needed, leading to increased productivity, and reduced stress.
The Pleaser: Saying ‘no’ when necessary became my mantra. Trying to please everyone often left me feeling overwhelmed and undervalued. Boundaries are essential for maintaining a healthy work-life balance.
The Restless: Embracing mindfulness and meditation techniques helped me stay present in the moment and reduced restlessness. Focusing on the now enabled me to appreciate life’s little joys and improved my overall sense of contentment.
The Hypervigilant: I challenged my tendency to overanalyze situations and anticipate the worst outcomes. I learned to let go of the need to control every aspect of my life and started embracing uncertainty as a natural part of the journey.
“Life is too short to let negative voices dictate our happiness and well-being.”
Reflect On Your Emotions:
Are you struggling to find harmony in your life too? Take a moment to reflect on your emotions and thought patterns. Life is too short to let negative voices dictate our happiness and well-being. Let’s embark on this journey of self-discovery and create the harmony we desire.
Finding harmony in life is a journey unique to each one of us. As women, we face challenges that require a deeper understanding of ourselves and the saboteurs that hinder our progress. By recognizing and overcoming negative thought patterns, we can create the space needed for balance, happiness, and fulfillment.
Remember, you are not alone in this journey. Let’s unite as a community and support each other in overcoming our saboteurs. If you are looking for additional resources, check out About the Author below.
Life is too precious to be spent battling our inner demons. Embrace your true potential and find the harmony that awaits you!
About the Author:
Julie DeLucca-Collins is the Founder and CEO of Go Confidently Services and the host of the popular Casa DeConfidence Podcast®. As a Business and Life Strategist Coach, Julie helps women business owners launch or grow their businesses, get clients, be productive, and achieve their dreams. Julie helps her clients create simple habits to achieve goals and change lives. Julie is also the best-selling author of the newly released book Confident You (simple habits to live the life you’ve imagined). She is certified as a CBT and Holistic Coach. This past summer, she was honored to complete her certification as a Tiny Habits Coach under Dr. BJ Fogg the founder of the Behavioral Lab at Stamford University and the author of the book Tiny Habits.
If you want to hear stories of other women on this journey to be and live more confidently, tune in to her podcast Casa DeConfidence. You can also reach out if you want to create new habits for your life. As a Certified Tiny Habits Coach, she is always excited to help audacious women become the CEO of their life and business through simple habits for success. If you want to see your top saboteurs, check out the quiz on Julie’s website. https://www.goconfidentlycoaching.com/quicklinks.