Parent Coach for Moms of Teens: Fern Weis
If you’ve ever asked yourself how to stop feeling like a failure as a parent, you’re not alone—and you’re not powerless.
Many parents of teens and pre-teens carry a quiet belief: I’ve failed. Despite pouring time, energy, and love into raising their children, they find themselves stuck in repeated conflict or watching their child make choices they fear.
And when nothing seems to work, that helpless voice grows louder: Where did I go wrong?
This mindset can quickly slide into passivity—a belief that parenting is happening to you, and that you’re powerless to change anything. But while you can’t control your child’s behavior—because you can’t change another human being—you can control how you show up. And when you shift your presence, your influence grows.
Why Do Parents Feel Like Failures?
1. Unrealistic Expectations:
Society paints an idealized version of parenting: always calm, wise, and effective. When reality falls short, it’s easy to believe you’re doing it all wrong.
2. The Comparison Trap:
Social media and well-meaning advice can leave you feeling like everyone else has it figured out—except you.
3. Repetitive Struggles:
Whether it’s screen time, disrespect, or school issues, the same battles wear you down and convince you that nothing will ever change.
4. Emotional Overload:
You love your child deeply. When they reject guidance or make risky choices, it feels personal—like a reflection of your parenting.
5. Victim Mentality:
Over time, parents can slip into thinking, I’ve tried everything. I give up. That mindset reinforces frustration and inaction.
How To Stop Feeling Like A Failure As A Parent And Start Reclaiming Your Influence:
Instead of labeling yourself a failure, remember that parenting is about progress, not perfection. Here’s how to move from powerless to purposeful:
1. Own Your Role:
You can’t control your child, but you can control your own attitude, mood, words, and actions. That’s where your true influence lies.
2. Challenge Helpless Thinking:
When you think, Nothing I do makes a difference, pause and question it. Change is often slow, but calm consistency does make an impact.
3. Take Intentional Action:
Rather than waiting for your child to change, look at how you respond. What boundaries need reinforcement? What tone of voice invites connection?
4. Reframe The Struggles:
Difficult moments are not proof of failure. They’re part of the process—for both of you. Growth often looks messy.
5. Set Boundaries With Yourself:
Speak to yourself with the same compassion you want your child to have. Replace I’m failing with I’m learning. Replace I’m powerless with I can choose how I respond.
Parenting a teen can be overwhelming. But questioning yourself doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you care. And caring gives you the motivation to keep learning, growing, and leading. You are not a passive bystander. You have influence. You have choices. And that’s where your power lies.
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About the Author:
Fern Weis is a Parent Empowerment Coach for Moms of Teens and a Family Recovery Coach. She’s also a wife, former middle school teacher, and the parent of two adult children who taught her more about herself than she ever could have imagined.
Fern partners with moms of teens and young adults, privately and in groups. She helps them grow their confidence to build strong relationships and emotionally healthier kids who become successful adults. She knows first-hand that when parents do the work, the possibilities for change are limitless; that it’s never too late to start; and you don’t have to do it alone. Learn more about Fern at www.fernweis.com. Schedule your complimentary Parent Support Call at https://calendly.com/talktofern/discovery-call. Ready for support? Apply for a complimentary 30-minute Parent Discovery Call at https://calendly.com/talktofern/discovery-call.
