Divorce and Transitions: Mardi Winder-Adams
January is called “divorce month” for a very good reason.
Divorce Process:
This tends to be the month when more people reach out to divorce experts and begin the divorce process. During this time, reducing the emotional and financial cost of divorce is often a priority, and it is never too early to start thinking about how to save your money and your well-being.Â
As a divorce coach, I’ve come to realize that the key to minimizing both financial and emotional costs during a divorce lies in approaching the process with a clear, focused and positive mindset. It’s understandable to be overwhelmed by feelings of hurt, frustration, or betrayal, but learning how to manage these emotions effectively paves the way for a more collaborative, less contentious divorce. Less conflict equals less attorney time and the potential to settle the divorce through mediation, which is always a cost-saving option.Â
The Importance Of Working Together:
Imagine this: by focusing on mutual goals rather than a win-lose scenario, you can significantly reduce both emotional and financial stress. When you are both okay with getting what you need and having the other person do the same, you will reduce the costs of the process.Â
“Less conflict equals less attorney time and the potential to settle the divorce through mediation..”
Another crucial aspect is clearly establishing your priorities – knowing what you need to have versus what you want from the divorce. This clarity is vital, as greed can often escalate conflicts, leading to unnecessary expenses.
Remember, increased conflict invariably translates to increased costs. This is why choosing the right attorney is so vital. I guide my clients through this selection process, emphasizing the importance of thorough research, seeking referrals, and having meaningful consultations to ensure a compatible professional relationship.
Hire The Right Professionals:
It may seem counterintuitive, but hiring a team of professionals, including a CPA or Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), is a wise investment. These experts can offer invaluable advice on complex financial matters, such as handling real estate or navigating tax implications, ultimately saving you money in the long run.
For example, consider decisions around shared property. A CDFA can help you evaluate the benefits of selling a shared home, buying out your partner, or retaining it as an investment property. These decisions are not just about who gets what; they involve understanding the nuances of capital gains taxes and how they affect your financial standing post-divorce.
Emotional Support Throughout Your Divorce:
Beyond the financial aspect, addressing the emotional costs of divorce is equally critical. Whether it’s through traditional therapy, divorce coaching, or self-care practices, finding the right support to manage your emotional well-being is essential. This emotional guidance can significantly influence your decision-making process, helping you to focus on your future goals and aspirations.
“Divorce is a big change in life, even if you are the one who filed for the divorce.”
Failing to recognize how emotional upheaval can impact your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health is a common mistake. Divorce is a big change in life, even if you are the one who filed for the divorce. Working with someone who can help you walk through this process and stay healthy is invaluable. Too often, high-achieving women find they are burning the candle at both ends and in the middle through their divorce, which leads to health problems, burnout, and even challenges in maintaining their professional obligations
Exploring Mediation:
Taking time to reflect, chart your path forward, and consider what you want from the next chapter in life helps support you throughout the divorce process. When you are healthy and have a vision for your future, you can make the most effective decisions during the divorce, positioning you to step forward into the life you want to live post-divorce. Â
Lastly, I always advise exploring mediation before considering litigation as a cost-saving measure. Mediation can be a more cost-effective and less adversarial approach. It can also be a way to have closure to the relationship and settle on good terms, something that is not likely when litigation and a “win-lose” mentality are prevalent. Of course, mediation is not suitable for every situation, but it’s often worth attempting to settle matters amicably and efficiently. And whether you are part of the January divorce month phenomenom or it’s a different time of the year, keeping costs low is a worthwhile goal.
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About the Author:
Mardi Winder-Adams is an Executive and Leadership Coach, Certified Divorce Transition Coach, and a Credentialed Distinguished Mediator in Texas. She has experienced her own divorce, moved to a new country and started her own business, and worked through the challenges of being a caregiver and managing the loss of a spouse.
Handling life transitions and pivots is her specialty! In her professional role as a divorce coach, Mardi has helped hundreds of women before, during, and after divorce to reduce the emotional and financial costs of the process. She is the founder of Positive Communication Systems, LLC.
