Midlife Pleasure: Ania Grimone
Sexual sovereignty for women over 50 isn’t about performance or perfection, it’s about reclaiming our bodies as sacred, powerful, and fully ours.
Yesterday, I lay on the floor, breath pouring through my lungs like a river after a heavy rain. Loud, full, urgent. In a room filled with sound and spirit, I remembered something I often forget: being a woman is not a project. It’s not a self-improvement plan. It’s a devotional act.
And sex? It’s not just something we do. It’s a doorway.
This Isn’t About Sex. It’s About Sovereignty:
What opened for me in that breathwork ceremony wasn’t just old trauma release or nervous system reset; though, yes, that was there too. What opened was an ancient, bone-deep knowing: We are not meant to treat our bodies like burdens to manage or tools to optimize. The body is not a dead weight we drag around and try to make presentable. She’s the altar. The offering. The oracle.
When we treat our sensuality like a checklist; have the orgasm, do the jade egg, light the candle, dress up, we miss the point. Sex, when we let it be what it’s meant to be, is a way to commune. With life. With self. With the wild feminine that lives beneath the layers of conditioning, disconnect, and shutdown.
And here’s the thing: you don’t need to be “into spirituality” to feel this. You just need to be willing to stop performing and start listening. Because deep inside your body is a yes, or a no, you’ve probably been overriding for decades. A truth, you’ve been told ,is too much, too angry, too weird, too messy, too intense. I met that truth yesterday. And she had teeth.
Releasing The Inherited Shame of Sex:
In the middle of the journey, a goddess appeared; powerful, dark, fierce, merciless. She sat on my belly, face to face, womb to womb, and showed me what had been living inside me that never belonged: the energetic residue of men who didn’t deserve access. The shame I inherited. The belief, carved into my bones, that sex is just one of life’s things that comes with so many strings attached, that at the end it may not even be worth it.
That wasn’t mine. It was my mother’s.
And in that moment, the goddess took over. She didn’t coach me. She didn’t ask me to process. She ripped them out. One by one. Headless. Gone.
That’s when I understood why so many of us struggle to feel truly safe during sex. It’s not just that we’re traumatized. It’s that we’ve been too nice about it. Trying to heal through politeness. Working on ourselves while still tolerating the threat. Our bodies know better. Our bodies want to see the threat gone.
And when that happened in me—rage, release, power—I felt a flood of playfulness, sensuality, and trust poured into the space. Like my whole body said “Finally!”
Why Sexual Sovereignty For Women Over 50 Begins With Devotion, Not Performance:
Here’s what I want to say to you, woman who’s done the work. Who’s tired of striving. Who still feels disconnected from her body, her sensuality, her joy: You’re not broken. You’re not too late. And you don’t need another performance.
You need devotion. Not to an idea. Not to a sexual partner. Not to practice. Not to the act. To yourself. To your breath. Your womb. Your desire. Your boundaries. Your wildness. Your softness. Your tears and your rage and your ridiculous laugh when you finally let go.
Sex is not something to get good at. It’s something to come home to.
The New Sacred, Raw, Real, And Yours:
There’s wisdom in you so deep it doesn’t speak in words. It speaks in sensation. In gut feelings. In full-body yes and sacred no. In the way your chest opens when you trust, and how your hips unlock when you’re finally held.
This is the new sacred. Not polished. Not posed. Not filtered. Felt. Raw. Real. And it starts, not with the perfect jade egg practice or tantric playlist, but with a breath. With your hand on your heart, asking: “What do I need right now, and will I give it to myself?”
That’s devotion. That’s sex at its core. That’s the path home.
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About the Author:
Ania, MS, L.Ac., CPCC, is a clinician of Chinese medicine, as well as Certified Professional Co-Active Coach, Health, and Sex Coach. She blends the most cutting-edge behavioral science with principles of Chinese medicine, Daoism, Tantra, and somatic experiencing, to heal and harness the power of female sexuality.
She is a founder of Venus Core Leadership, teaching women a new way of being. Sensual, embodied, regulated, and filled with pleasure.
She is passionate about reconnecting women to their deep wisdom, and innate, natural sexual core, as a source of aliveness, creativity, and joy. Regardless of age.
Ania invites you to visit her website at www.venuscoreleadership.com and join her list (there are some yummy goodies there). She will be announcing shortly a three part series, Beautiful Undoings, helping women recover from loss, betrayal, or divorce. And as usual, she invites questions and comments. We heal and rise in community. Please share this article if you know a woman, who can benefit from it.
